Dear YM,
Oh my god, today was the most terrible thing ever! I was more embarressed than I’ve ever been before in my life! Here’s what happened: Today at work I went to lunch with my friend Higa and we ate a TON of terriaki noodles. After lunch I had a really long and boring meeting to sit through. About halfway through, my stomach started rumbling. I could feel trouble starting to “brew” if you get my drift! After the meeting I rushed to the elevator and as the doors closed I cut a series of the biggest, longest, loudest farts of all time. I was feeling pretty relieved until the elevator stopped and the doors opened and my boss and co-worker were waiting to take the now fart-filled elevator back up to the 4th floor! Of course they didn’t say anything about it when I saw them later, but it would have been impossible for them not to have noticed. I’m sure they spent the 3 floor ride up laughing about what a smelly fart-layer I am. It was easily one of the most embarassing moments of my entire life, and I would give almost anything to take those farts back.

Signed,
Mr. Smelly Pants
Dallas, TX