K-9 Sex Police

Meg and I were behind this guy in line at the store the other day. I don't have a funny thing to say about it, I think it speaks for itself
- posted by Mason @ 10:03 AM

"How to Make Electronic Music" or, I scanned a book.

So I finally got my Dallas Public Library card today. Meg and I went downtown to the big one and spent hours wandering through the stacks. I checked out three Morton Subotnick records (look for those to get posted soon), and this fantastic book on making electronic music. I scanned it, made a pdf and posted it. Enjoy!

Download it here if you don't use bittorrent.
Or here if you're down with p2p action.

A word of caution, it's full page print quality, so it's about 130 megs. Also, since it was a library book, I couldn't take it apart. Consequently some of the pages are slightly askew... sorry.
- posted by Mason @ 10:26 PM

Sleepy Trees goes LIVE.

Megan and I have an etsy.com shop now. It's called Sleepy Trees. Go there and buy my crafts, fuckers. This picture is of a boom box I drew.

In case you're hopelessly clueless, etsy is an online community of crafters and artists who sell their shit to people. We also set up a blog to post about the stuff we make. It's sleepytrees.blogspot.com, you can read it if you want. In other news, I am watching Strange Brew, my favorite movie ever. Eh?
- posted by Mason @ 9:39 PM

If you pay for software, you're a fucking idiot.


Open Source Alternative is the best man at your wedding. With a comprehensive list of ever commercial program in the multiverse, and free versions of said programs, it saves you from ever having to buy a program again.

Example: I need a copy of the uber-pricey Crystal Reports XI (it's a banded database report designer, in case you care). Now, there's no fucking way our department is paying $500 for me to build five reports and then never use it again. That's retarded beyond comparison. But our little friend OPENRPT, is a free version of the same. Thank you osalt.com, you are the shit.
- posted by Mason @ 11:39 AM

The biggest burrito I ever eated


Megan and I highly suggest all Texas residents immediately drop whatever it they're doing, head over to your local Freebird's World Burrito and chow the fuck down on some serious burrito action. It's delicious, veggie friendly and cheap as hell. The fucking monster I'm holding was only six bucks.

It contained:
spinach tortilla
rice
white onions
red onion
jalapeños
lettuce
tomatoes
roasted peppers and onions
roasted garlic
sliced avocado
salsa
jack/cheddar blend
lime juice



It was fucking fantastic and I must insist that you eat one. I ate the whole fucking thing at three in the afternoon and wasn't hungry again until midnight. In addition Freebird's is a Texas owned and operated company, non-franchise, bike-rock as fuck, and community and conservation minded. Fuck yeah. Go to the Greenville and Lover's Lane location and tell them TOFUTTIBREAK sent you.
- posted by Mason @ 10:07 AM

I'll never sleep again.

For just $144.99 (that's $4.83 per pill), I never have to sleep another wink.

Modafinil is a quasi-legal, grey market prescription drug that "stimulates wakefulness" with "no side-affects or dependency". Here's what our friends at the completely-not-at-all-illegal-online-prescription-drug-retailer antiaging-systems.com have to say about the stuff:

Modafinil is a remarkable, unique drug which offers stimulation without affecting sleep. Modafinil increases mental & physical alertness and concentration, reducing the desire to nap (sleep), and yet at the same time displays no addictive or "coming-down" side-effects. Modafinil is a new generation of stimulants for a modern world. IAS stock 3 brands of Modafinil - branded in the USA ‘Provigil’, known in Europe as ‘Modiodal’ and also known throughout the world as ‘Alertec’. These pharmaceutical grade products are all produced to an identical formula.

If I only needed two hours sleep a night, I could watch six more hours of television a day. This is all I want for Christmas.

Buy it for me here.
- posted by Mason @ 1:07 PM

Thanksgiving is Silly

Well, it's Thanksguilting again. We didn't go back to OKC, so Meg and I stayed home and ate frozen eggrolls and mini-pizzas. I'm sure that will just break my mother's heart, but it was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had. Next is an apple pie via Whole Foods. Fuck yeah!
- posted by Mason @ 12:41 PM

The Art Supply Store gots lots of markers, daddy.

Meg took this great picture at the Asel Art Supply on Cedar Springs today. I wish I could afford all these markers. (Obviously, I'd only need one of each, but it's still prohibitively expensive.)
- posted by Mason @ 11:50 PM

Text... on a phone??? Well that's a novel concept.

If you're not playing Zork on you're phone, you're a fucking nobody. For that matter, if you like computers or computer games and you're not into interactive fiction (specifically INFOCOM), you're a fucking hypocrite. This dude over at gizmo-a-gogo has ported the z-interpreter (the "console" that text games run on top of) to a java app for your phone. The only issue is that occasionally you have to scroll up to read, but since the original games are based on your 80 character wide Apple IIe (or Atari ST) monchrome screen, (and your phone is between 15 and 20 depending on the model) it's par for the course. Get on the bus with this one friends, before you become a hopeless hipster dinosaur who actually buys songs from the iTMS and listens to them wears an Urban Outfitters' t-shirt pushing an $800 stroller around in West Elm looking for Asian inspired candlesticks to match their black-lacquered futon frame.
- posted by Mason @ 9:42 PM

My Car Wouldn't Start This Morning

I left my lights on last night, so after five phone calls to AAA:

"What city are you in sir?"
"Dallas, TX"
"Let me transfer you to our Texas office..."
[five minutes of going back through all prompts and re-entering my club ID]
"Thank you for calling AAA Roadside assistance, what city are you in?"
"Dallas, TX"
"Ok, let me transfer you to our Texas office..."
"I'm sorry, I'm confused, I was just transfered there."
"No sir, this is the Southern California office."
"Fine."
[repeat automated system walk through]
"Hello?"
"Hi... I need to get my car jumped."
[Silence]
"Is this AAA Texas?"
"No, this is Florida."
[Silence]
"Well, can you transfer me to the Texas office?"
"Uh, yeah... hold on."
[Two minutes of papers shuffling, general office sounds]
"Ok, I'll transfer you, sorry about that."

I was finally helped by a nice lady actually at the central Texas office. One hour later, this bad ass dude from A2Z Towing came and jumped my car. I hate AAA, but I love A2Z Towing, I highly recommend them for all your East Dallas towing needs.
- posted by Mason @ 11:28 PM

An online garage sale... what a novel idea!
This fella has chosen to put a bunch of low res pictures of his stuff together on an HTML page and given you a number to call. I'm very pro this idea, but I would have added prices and better descriptions. My favorite part is half way down the page on the left where it says:

Robot:


Something strikes me a amusing about that for some reason.
- posted by Mason @ 4:01 PM

Chapter 158, in which I live out a childhood dream.
Oh fuck. I got comp tickets to see The Who. It was fucking great. Fantastic. Amazing. Here are the pictures




The video screen behind them separates into five servo motor controlled panels. Meg took some some video I'll edit together and post later. They destroyed. I wasn't expecting the kind of high energy show they delivered. They played all of the Wire & Glass mini-opera, which is excellent. Instead of sounding like crappy new crap being pushed off on you, it sounded like Who songs you'd just never heard. I suggest picking up (and by that I mean downloading) the new record, Endless Wire.


The Pretenders opened and were absolutely fucking fantastic. I HIGHLY suggest going to see them if they're coming anywhere near you. Surely one the best bands I've ever seen live. Every song was perfect, exactly as it should be. Chrissie's voice actually sounds better now than it did in 1980. Fucking amazing.


All of this went down at the American Airlines Center here in Dallas. I'd never been before, but it was just huge. This a shot of the crowd during intermission.
- posted by Mason @ 1:31 PM

Nancy Grace should have her skin burned off with acid.

Melinda Duckett's murderer continues to command a sizeable TV audience on a daily basis. If you're not familiar with why Nancy Grace is a murderous cunt, read this story. Or this story. All of this happened two months ago, and I'm not "breaking it", I just wanted to reiterate what a vile whore the woman is.

Did that lady kill her kid? Maybe. I don't know, and I don't care. What I do care about is a ratings prostitute like Grace effectively circumventing our legal system by blatantly accusing possibly innocent people of killing their children on national television, thereby unfairly biasing public opinion against them, and obliterating any possibility of them receiving a fair trial. American justice, while imperfect, is still far more impartial and ethical than a bobble headed coke slut like Grace. Fuck Nancy Grace, fuck her producers, and fuck you if you watch her shit-slander-fest of a show.
- posted by Mason @ 5:09 PM

I'm cute... so is the dog.

Megan was up and I was asleep. Look how cute I am. Admittedly, the dog is cuter.
- posted by Mason @ 2:19 PM

Texas State Law
Texas State Penal Code:

§ 21.07. PUBLIC LEWDNESS.

(a) A person commits an
offense if he knowingly engages in any of the following acts in a
public place or, if not in a public place, he is reckless about
whether another is present who will be offended or alarmed by his:

(1) act of sexual intercourse;

(2) act of deviate sexual intercourse;

(3) act of sexual contact; or

(4) act involving contact between the person's mouth
or genitals and the anus or genitals of an animal or fowl.

(b) An offense under this section is a Class A misdemeanor.


Acts 1973, 63rd Leg., p. 883, ch. 399, § 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1974.
Amended by Acts 1993, 73rd Leg., ch. 900, § 1.01, eff. Sept. 1,
1994.

I totally didn't make that shit up. I don't mean to be one those people who likes "wacky laws" ("Did you know that in Manhassett, Maryland, it's illegal to eat a hamburger while walking backwards down the street on a Tuesday!?!?!?!"). I just think it's odd that "fowl" is specified. Isn't the word "animal" enough of a catch-all?
- posted by Mason @ 3:12 PM

Shared Studio Space

Meg took this picture of the new "shelf-full-o-goodness" in the studio space that used to be our bedroom. We each have 1/2 of the room. I'm excited. More to come.
- posted by Mason @ 11:33 AM

The Best Chavez Song Ever


The Song "Hack the Sides Away" was the b-side of the first Chavez 7" ("Repeat the Ending") in 1994. It's lo-fi, it's raw. It's unbelievable. Chavez sits very comfortably in my top five favorite bands of all time. Download it here: Hack the Sides Away [music mp3 song]


This is the astounding video for the song "Break Up Your Band". It's on the new DVD "Better Days Will Haunt You".
- posted by Mason @ 4:43 PM

It's worse than you think.

I found this flyer at the Tower Records on Lemmon here in Dallas. They're going out of business. For some reason their business model of selling Pearl Jam's Viatology for $18.99 isn't working... hmmm.

Anyway, I think this is just sad. The guy from RATT? I can only shake my head at this. Even more pathetic than this guy playing at the "Rockyard" are the people who will pay fifteen dollars to attend.

UPDATE: I'm sorry, much more pathetic than that are the people who will pay $20 to see Robert Van Winkle the next night. Fuck that's lame.

DOUBLE UPDATE: And the shocks keep on coming. The dude from Grand Funk Railroad is playing the night after V to the I.
- posted by Mason @ 1:04 PM

It's Sunday, I'm at work.

I moved desks recently. I no longer have a cubbie, but I still have no drawers. On the upside, as I've mentioned before, I can listen to whatever the fuck I want. The "fabulous" Kenny G is here this weekend, and I just couldn't care less. As it turns out, people love the shit out of that character and his schlocky pseudo-smooth-jazz-pop.

Some people I work with didn't know he played the saxophone. They thought it was a flute. Sad, really.

Speaking of people I work with, it seems really pathetic to me that when people have time to kill and internet access, they chose to play flash games. I don't mean to sound like a snob (oh, of course I do), but I'm over here trying out a new web-based office productivity suite, and you're playing Teddy Factory? Jesus, you're a fucking moron.
- posted by Mason @ 9:48 AM

Metal as Fuck, or "Merry Christmas, Dave Mustaine"

I'm sure it's obvious by now that I've been re-sowing my metal roots. I mostly listen to music at work, and I've mostly been listening to metal. More to the point, I've mostly been listening to Megadeth. I don't know why I didn't like them in Junior High (when I was really into metal the first time). I think it probably had something to do with my loyalty to Metallica. I'm very embarrassed about that loyalty now, because I despise Lars and James so much (Kirk I'm fine with). My shame is somewhat assuaged however, since in 1994 they weren't nearly the despicable assholes they are now, and it was more acceptable to like them. Please bear in mind this was years before all that "Give me Fuel/Give me Fire" bullshit.

Now I'm proud to be a Megadeth fan (a "MEGAFAN" if you will), and in the spirit of that, here's a track of the classic "Countdown to Extinction" album, Architecture of Aggression.

Buy me this Megadeth xmas ornament. Seriously, though, buy me this hoodie.
- posted by Mason @ 8:50 AM

Abilene, TX

Meg and I drove to west texas earlier this week. It wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Abilene is like Oklahoma City, but if OKC had heritage and sense of community. If I had to pick one of the two in which to live, it would be Abilene.
Pictured: Downtown Abilene.
- posted by Mason @ 11:01 PM

Fuck What You Heard: The Repost


A while back I posted the new record to the mmds.org site, which is now defunct because I'm just to cheap to pay for web hosting. So here's the repost, mother fuckers, free as ever. Enjoy.

01 Heart Transplant
02 Pattern of the Stars
03 Wired Wrong
04 America
05 The Song You Cannot Hear
07 Block of Ice
08 True Story
09 Halloween
10 Neil Diamond
- posted by Mason @ 11:53 AM

Powerslave (1984)

I've been listening to a lot of Maiden at work recently (much to the chagrin of my co-workers, but fuck them, I'm the boss, right?). I've decided that Powerslave is my favorite album. Is this sacrilege? I don't know enough other metal snobs to know if this is an acceptable favorite album.


Also, I am very, very interested in playing "Ed Hunter" the Iron Maiden video game.

From their website:
In this death race with Eddie you start in the dimly lit streets of London’s East End (‘Iron Maiden’ & ‘Killers’). You must then release Eddie from the Asylum (‘Piece of Mind’) and pursue him through Hell (‘The Number of the Beast’), a graveyard (‘Live After Death’), Egypt and the Pyramids (‘Powerslave’), the Future (‘Somewhere in Time’), and finally to a post-apocalyptic landscape (‘Virtual XI’). In the final moments of the game you must help Eddie save the planet by defeating the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse… that is, if you have the skills to get that far!

I'm thinking about buying it.
- posted by Mason @ 11:56 AM

Cognitive Science and Pie
I'm now a big fan of one of the many great blogs over at scienceblogs.com called Cognitive Daily. It's written by husband and wife team psychology team Greta and Dave Munger. If you're into science for non-scientists (and anyone who's ever been bored talking to me knows that I am), I highly suggest adding the feed.


In a related story, Megan and I purchased a DELICIOUS Apple Pie from Whole Foods for her birthday. Not only was it the best store bought pie I've ever tasted, it was in the top three pies I've ever eaten. After a number of glaring disappointments involving HEB Central Market baked goods, I have been very, very pleased with the quality of every bakery product purchased at Whole Foods. Kudos to you, WF, your food is fucking tasty.
- posted by Mason @ 5:21 PM

CBS can ruin anything.

Jericho. I don't want to watch it, but I can't help it.

CBS exec 1: "Hey, did you read this script about the end of the world?"

CBS exec 2: "You know I can't read, just tell me about it."

CBS exec 1: "Well, I can't read either, but the guy who wrote it plays golf with my dentist, so it must be good."

CBS exec 2: "OK, let's green light it. Order 12 episodes."

CBS exec 1: "Great idea, we'll only probably show five and then cancel it anyway, so what can it hurt?"

CBS exec 2: "I'll take care of it... one more thing, let's take that script and give the team from Judging Amy for a rewrite. Make it more family friendly, you know?"

CBS exec 1: "But it's about hydrogen bombs destroying every major city in America."

CBS exec 2: "Yeah, but that doesn't mean it can't still be heartwarming."

CBS exec 1: "Fair enough."


- posted by Mason @ 8:53 PM

No Post Yesterday, Happy Birthday Megan!

My lovely LTG (that's long-term-girlfriend for those not in the know - it's like a wife for people who don't believe in god) Megan celebrated a birthday yesterday! Yay! I got her this totally kick ass Canon PowerShot SD 700 IS. It's the ELPH baby, and it fucking rules. I'm a good boyfriend. So happy birthday Meg. I love you.
- posted by Mason @ 12:36 PM