You know it's bad when even I won't watch it...


I rented the highly touted Smokin' Aces from the internet movie rental store last night. Meg and I tried to watch it. We really did... but we just couldn't get through it.

Despite a fairly decent all-star cast (ok, all-midlevel tv personality cast) this movie feels like a not funny parody of a Soderbergh movie. The pace was painfully slow and a lot the plot movement didn't really make sense. Celeb guest cameo characters are introduced with no explanation and killed off before they can develop.

Also, Ryan Reynolds isn't in Merchant Ivory productions without reason. The man is Van Wilder in everything he does. It's not that I can't take him seriously because I've mentally typecast him as a comedic party boy... I can't take him seriously because he's a terrible fucking actor. This guy's our generation's Jim Belushi all the way (I take that back, the Belush is at least convincing playing a belligerent, misogynistic alcoholic... sometimes art imitates life)

Anyway, Smokin' [that apostrophe really bothers me] Aces was so boring that we decided to watch:

DEMOLITION MAN!!!!

I will, however, concede that I despise Sandra Bullock (sorry YoungJayYoung, she's not a very good actress). Other than having to suffer through her "I can still be cute well into middle age" bullshit, I really like Demolition Man. Wesley Snipes is especially ridiculous and HamburgerMeatFace Stallone is at his finest. To capture the true essence of this film, I suggest you either watch it on TBS or go to Cash America Pawn and buy it on VHS for $1.98.

BONUS: THE SECRET OF THE THREE SHELLS REVEALED!!!!!
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- posted by Mason @ 10:53 AM