Regrets... OR Things I wish I'd done 10 years ago
My ten year semi-adulthood anniversary is coming up this summer. I turned 16 on August 15th, 1997.

A decade later I'm happier and healthier than I've ever been, and it got me thinking that I wish I'd gotten my shit together a lot earlier. Ten years earlier. What follows is my list of regrets.

Five Things I Wish I Had Done In 1997:

1) Become a Vegetarian -

Even though I stopped eating mammals in January of 2001, I get nauseous thinking about all the beef I ingested in high school. I am truly sorry to the animals that I ate for eating them, and I am truly sorry to the earth for all the fossil fuels burned to bring that meat to me.

2) Started Exercising -

I felt so rotten for so long, and felt so bad about myself for so long that I think it's really a shame I waited till my mid-twenties to get in shape. I made a few half hearted attempts over the years, but could never really commit to it. I think this is in a lot of ways wrapped up with my eating: what I was eating, how much I was eating and how I was brought up to feel about eating. Having overcome all of that, I feel a thousand times better now than I did ten years ago.

3) Not Been in So Many Shitty Bands -

I spent YEARS playing Credence Clearwater songs at frat parties, school fun-fairs and talent shows, and I really wish I hadn't. I think it was very detrimental to me creatively and emotionally. I can't think of a single show I ever played in any bad cover band that I remember fondly. Conversely, I can think of tons of Moon Mission shows where I had a great time and really enjoyed myself. If I hadn't wasted four years of high school being a bass player in blues-rock bands, Daniel and I could have devoted ALL of our time to indie rock, and we'd probably feel much better about how we spent that time.

4) Gone Out With Jennifer Leffler -

From the fifth grade up until I met Megan in fall of 2000 (nine years) I was hopelessly in love with a string of wholly unattainable girls. I realize in retrospect, that I wouldn't actually have liked any of them had it ever gone any farther than me saying "hi" and them giving me a weird look. Jenny was really nice and cool. We friends and hung out a few times, but looking back... she might have been in love with me. I'm not in any way saying that I wish I'd married her or that I wish my life had turned out differently, but I wasted an opportunity to be possibly happier in high school because I was so hung up on some dumb blonde bitch (who is now and Arbonne Saleswoman. Glad that acting career worked out for you, Kristen).

5) Gone Green

When I think of all the trash I've generated and all of the oil I've burned in the last ten years, it makes me want to retch. There is no reason that I couldn't have gone most of the places I needed to go on a bike. Even riding slowly, I could have made it the seven miles from my house to school in 30 or 40 minutes. Had I not wasted all that fucking money on private school, and gone to Putnam City High, I could have destroyed those three miles on a bike much faster than I could have driven over there because of the traffic. I am sorry to the earth for hurting it and I am sorry to the dinosaur bones for wasting so much of their juice. I am sorry to myself for spending so long funding the racist, classist, industrial-corporate-fast-food earth-fuck-machine. Never again.

So there you have it, my list of regrets. What are yours? I know you have them.

Email me your "Five Things I Wish I'd Done When I Was 16" and enter to win a DINNER FOR TWO AT THE SPIRAL DINER in Fort Worth, TX.

Send me your lists, I'll review and pick the best one, then I'll treat you to a meal at the best vegan restaurant in the southwest. Entries must be received by March 31st, so take a little time and think about it before you spout off.

Remember, if you win, other people will read it, so I would avoid anything you would be embarrassed for other people to find out about you.
- posted by Mason @ 8:51 AM