You seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck.


we mounted the camera on megan's handlebars

Ten years ago my motto, my mantra, my catchphrase was "whatever". I was Pierre, and I said "I don't care" [A non WTWTA Sendak reference? This guy's good.] It was stupid, it was childish, it was angsty. It was so fifteen years old it hurt. A decade later I couldn't be more different:

15: I believe there is no god.
25: I don't believe in god.

15: Nothing matters, so what's the point?
25: Everything matters. That's the point.

15: I'm smarter than everyone.
25: I wish I'd been as smart as I am now ten years ago.

15: Whatever...
25: I don't give a fuck.

Do you see the difference in each of these things? Some of them are more subtle than others, but for me they're all a complete 180. The last set is the most important, as it represents the huge transformation I've undergone since sophomore year. Then I wore a Milwaukee's Best foamy mesh hat [I was way ahead of the curve on that one] because I thought it looked cool. Now I wear a "Baltimore Aquarium" cap because it was 50 cents and I need it to keep the sun out of my eyes. Then I wore black t-shirts with flannel shirts over them because I thought it made me look edgy. Now I roll the sleeves of my t-shirts when I ride my bike so my upper arms will tan evenly. I look like a nut, especially in cut off dickies, but I simply do not give a shit. It's the utility I care about.

The me in tenth grade had an image that I viciously protected. It was carefully crafted, executed and reinforced by my every word and action. I now have an ideology that I live unrepentantly, and my choices are based on a set of beliefs about what's best for me and the world in which I live. Then my actions where dictated by an arbitrary and not particularly well founded, researched or defended library of ideas that I thought made me seem cooler and smarter than other people. Now I act in accordance with my chosen lifestyle because it's truly what I want to do with my life, and anyone who doesn't like it can suck me.

I fundamentally reject all religion, but Crunchy Vegan Utility Biking has helped me to understand what it means to believe in something. Unlike religion however, I have facts to back up my beliefs.
- posted by Mason @ 9:59 PM