8/18/2008
Bill Nelson for President
William Nelson, wanted fugitive, quack physician and multi-millionaire, is also Desiré Dubounet, amateur filmmaker, full figured transvestite and glass gargling operatic baritone. "Professor" Nelson has been living in Budapest for a decade after fleeing the US to avoid his indictment for fraud charges regarding his claims about this:
What is it? Why, it's The EPFX/SERIAL, Quantum Xrroid Consciousness Interface. What does it do? Let's let "Dr." Nelson explain for himself.
"The EPFX/SERIAL measures subtle electrical factors of the body. The patient is attached by the means of a head harness, ankle straps and wrist straps to a small digital box connected externally to the computer in the serial port. This small box is known as the interface box and is connected to the same port where you would normally connect the printer. By means of an automatic computer callibration [sic], the patient's electrical parameters are measured. This is known as the "handshake" between the computer and the patient. This provides the EPFX/SERIAL with a baseline from which to begin the test. Once calibration is complete the EPFX/SERIAL subjects the patient to minute electrical impulses and monitors how the patient reacts in terms of a high score. A reaction score is given to each tested item. The higher the number the more specific that item is for the patient. Once the main concerns have been established and highlighted, the practitioner can then begin a more thorough investigation of the patients current state of health."How much does it cost? $21,000.00
I don't know how I didn't know about this, but this is my new favorite thing.
Ya'll Motherfuckers Said What?:
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