For Born Again Journey Fans Only



I know, I'm on a youtube kick this week. I've been so busy at work that I haven't had time to take any pictures or do anything interesting but watch King of the Hill. I have, however, had time to watch youtube videos of christian arena rock titans Petra.

See... as a kid, especially as a metal kid, we ripped on PETRA endlessly. In retrospect, while they deserve a ton of shit for supporting a Constitutional amendment supporting prayer in schools, their music isn't actually that bad. Sure, they love jesus and that's inexcusable, but they're not totally horrible. They deserve to be included in any conversation regarding late 80's arena rock. This single, from 1988's "On Fire!", is simply a pastiche of Foreigner circa '84, but a well executed pastiche. Given that Christian Rock (like Canadian Rock) is normally five years out of date, that makes it pretty cutting edge. Listen to it, but try to ignore the themes of holy war.

another bad PETRA video


- posted by Mason @ 7:46 PM (1) comments

...and then I fucked 'er... ohhhhhh......



Your boy Andrew Dice Clay is on Celebrity Apprentice this season. Pathetic? Of course! That's what celeb reality shows are for. However, I think we should all reflect for a moment on what a giant superstar the Diceman was in the 80's. Here he is at Rodney's club in the 1987 - nobody can offend like the ADC, the man is a master of his craft.
- posted by Mason @ 7:46 PM (0) comments

Ooohhh. That's Impressive.


via matrixsynth

Jaw dropping modular synth as a seriously bad ass sequencer and drum machine. I'm blown away.
- posted by Mason @ 7:45 PM (0) comments

King of all Cartoon Sitcoms



I've downloaded and am just starting season 3 of 70gigs of the complete King of the Hill. Mike Judge's constant barrage of Chuck Mangione jokes made me do a little googling on America's favorite smooth-jazz flugelhorn maestro. While his music isn't really very good, he seems like a pretty cool guy. Did you know he was in Art Blakey's Jazz Messengers in the mid-60s? That's pretty fucking hip. The internet says that Chuck's hit "Feels So Good" is the most recognized smooth-jazz song of all time.

King of the Hill is the best cartoon sitcom ever. There's nothing that more accurately describes life in Texas. It fills me with a joy that cannot be put into words.



- posted by Mason @ 7:44 PM (0) comments

Remix Challenge: Stravinsky "Three Pieces for Clarinet"



Think you're a fuckin' remix jesus? Then I challenge you to remix this rip of Reginald Kell's recording of Igor Stravinsky's "Three Pieces for Clarinet". Written in 1919, this work showcases Stravinsky's groundbreaking usage of rhythm and his embrace of the modernism of ragtime. Here's some additional info from the web:

He had a significant artistic relationship with the Swiss philanthropist Werner Reinhart. He approached Reinhart for financial assistance when he was writing Histoire du soldat (The Soldier’s Tale). The first performance was conducted by Ernest Ansermet on 28 September 1918, at the Theatre Municipal de Lausanne. Werner Reinhart sponsored and to a large degree underwrote this performance. In gratitude, Stravinsky dedicated the work to Reinhart[12], and even gave him the original manuscript.[13][14] Reinhart continued his support of Stravinsky’s work in 1919 by funding a series of concerts of his recent chamber music.[15] These included a suite of five numbers from The Soldier’s Tale, arranged for clarinet, violin, and piano, which was a nod to Reinhart, who was an excellent amateur clarinettist.[16][12] The suite was first performed on 8 November 1919, in Lausanne, long before the better-known suite for the seven original instruments became widely known.[17] In gratitude for Reinhart’s ongoing support, Stravinsky dedicated his Three Pieces for Clarinet (composed October-November 1918) to Reinhart.[18][12] Reinhart later founded a music library of Stravinskiana at his home in Winterthur.[19]

So the challenge is this:

Remix it. Chop it. Screw it. Loop it and write a song over the top. Run it through a distortion pedal and then flip the reels and run it backwards. I don't care what you do, I just want everyone to stop using hiphop samples in their hiphop. It's boring and no one cares anymore. Isaac's been remixing Gentle Giant shit, so I want to hear what everyone else can do with some hardcore beats from a century ago. Post links in the comments so people can listen and decide for themselves who will be the winner. The prize is a $1000 gift card to Cock Ring Warehouse.




download the flac file here


- posted by Mason @ 8:05 PM (0) comments

KOPIMI



Pirate Bay est mein Hero - Kopimi for life.

Mackt, NET SECRET, broccoli, and KOPIMI

MAckt, —-, Broccoli, and KOPIMI

Kopimi

Internets 2009

/join #kopimi

According to Kopimi, all truths can be summarized in a single sentence: “the Internet is right”.

With prehistoric seeds, Kopimi roots itself in the future, holding together a vibrating avalanche of knowledge, creating the foundation of for a discussion untouched by the lashing shifts of time and space. A tumult where there’s no right to remain silent, you’ll have to talk to everyone.

Flocking, swarming, and noisy, we sow ourselves in new context and grow. This book is a spontaneously organised cluster swarm project with a single purpose — Kopimi will intensify, multiply, condensate. We want to reach further into ourselfs and into Kopimi. We want to penetrate into you and into the future.

Our words will, at the same time, sound like madness to deaf ears, and lovely caresses for those who see and hear, but above all: they will stick to you, you in particular — and your mother. This is a book for you who live in the moment, but seek your way forward through the ages.

001. Get the internet.

002. Start using irc.

003. Cluster, and give birth to a site.

004. Experiment with research chemicals.

005. Make a three-step program.

006. Take a powerful stand for something positive and indispensible.

007. Don’t regulate anything.

008. Say you’re going to move in two weeks, but stay seven months. Come back a year later and do the same thing.

009. Rotflol.

010. Relax, you’re already halfway there.

011. Justkiddingwithya.

012. Don’t think outside the box. Build a box.

013. Support support.

014. Make and attend parties and fairs.

015. Start 30-40 blogs about the asme things.

016. Drain the private sector of coders, graphic artists and literati.

017. Create a prize that !!som delas ut.

018. Often express youself, vaguely, in the media.

019. Spread all rumors.

020. Seek out and try [--kortning--?], and travel by expensive trains. Don’t order sushi.

021. Start a radio channel.

022. Everything you use, you can copy and give an arbitrary name, whether it’s a news portalk, search engine or public service.

023. Buy a bus.

024. Install a megahal.

025. Make sure you’re really good friends with people knowledgeble in photoshop, html, databases, and the likes of it.

026. Read a shitload of philosophy.

027. Give yourself cult status, and act accordingly.

028. Never aim.

029. Mess with everybody.

030. Invent or misuse Kopimi.

031. Do things together like an aggregation, not a collective.

032. Make your advertising confusingly similar to that of established ventures.

033. Always act with intent.

034. Claim, in all contexts, that the establishment is lagging.

035. When critizised, blame others and refer to the nonlinear time constitution swarm hierarchiality of the clustered formations.

036. Send everything to all media, no matter what niche.

037. Start an anonymous confession venture.

038. Make babies and blog their upbringing.

039. Make sure to closely study and keep ajour with substances.

040. Vividly participate in internet discussions that don’t interest you.

041. Start at least three to four irc channels about every project.

042. Fight and make up often.

043. Share files with everybody who wants to.

044. Do humor sites a lot.

045. Hang out with the left, the right, and the liberals.

046. See 23 in everything.

047. Flirt with money.

048. Very seldom by afk.

049. Threaten large American culture corporations.

050. Broadcast radio from Skäggetorp.

051. Make a 100 list of a successful project.

052. Don’t be sure about the name of the list.

053. Assume responsibility for a lot of projects.

054. Make sure to be connected to technical, aestethical, and philosophical competence of world class.

055. Regularly sleep over at each other.

056. Publish a book about Kopimi.

057. At a trial, deny everything.

058. Cultivate unfounded myths and react to them.

059. Hack sites, email accounts, and other things.

060. Always taunt and ridicule all aspects of Copyright.

061. Create an internet site where people can buy and sell votes in democratic elections.

062. I are serious cat; this is serious point!!1

063. Collect money for fraux’ trip to Iceland.

064. Confidently clain that all disconnected computers are broken.

065. DON’T go to Kurdistan.

066. Make sure to thoroughly found the claim all hardware is overpriced.

067. Affirm all words and signs.

068. Mindfuck each other to appropriate extent.

069. Care for smojyr.

070. Create and spiritualize the “snel hest” meme.

071. Found and own a think-tank.

072. Deny magnetism.

073. Found a business school. Drop out.

074. Write many press releases.

075. Use irc in underwear, and eat pizza.

076. Juggle with other people’s balls.

077. Make sure there is binding proof of Ikko giving monki advertising money by meand of volada’s helicopter.

078. Cause inflation and global financial crisis.

079. Be vague if anybody asks for the price of a bandwidth.

080. Use “dynamic” to mean “out of control”.

081. Never mention Hotmail, MSN, or Windows.

082. Conduct all project meetings on irc.

083. Claim to receive about 1265 emails a day.

084. Force a prosecutor to collate several thousand pages of claptrap.

085. Overly abstract everything.

086. Keep a liberal opinion of hell.

087. Consider yourselves overly qualified for top positions in American movie and music industry.

088. Create the world’s largest filesharing service over a night.

089. Attract international attention by mistake.

090. Control and dismiss opinion makers of all media.

091. At all levels, standardize the explanation of your modus operandi.

092. Keep 3567 anonymous confessions on your harddrive. Including the IP numbers and personal information of the authors.

093. Save the Internet.

094. Use the Internet as a source in serious discussions.

095. Seldom or never explain your IT elitism.

096. Dismiss expressions like [---?] as superstition.

097. Follow the yellow fellow.

098. Skip the last point of your 100 list.

099. Establish the Social services as a parody of the Asocial services.

100. Restart.

100. Mind burning kittens.

100. Write a book, but beginn with the cover text.

100. PROFIT.

/clear

In the shadow of the final crisis of the cultural industry in the 21st century, a larger picture grows of powehr, broccoli, and Kopimi. Every step of the failures of the cultural business is followed by the spooky successes and structurally diffuse spread of an Internet elite, all over the world. The book you’re reading has no author, no designer, no typesetter, and no means of distribution. Still it’s right before you. How did this happen?

Read the frightening instructions that a loosely connected nucleus of IT experts implanted into the network existance of an unsuspecting generation of youths, and about how the group stole the eggs, dollarsh, and jpegs away, right before the very eyes of the establishment, and powerful financial interests. Read about how serversh, seedersh, traeckers, mails, corporate contracts, foreign inverstors, Ikko’s allowance, scandalous ads, links, and search engines infiltrated and ruined a world, that had nobody to turn to, nobody to seek advice from, and nobody to trust…

This machine that is operationg below radar frequencies, moves unhindered from the jungle’s of Cambodia to the gay … of San Fransisco, by the empty beaches of Tel-Aviv, and into the internet connections of regular people of the suburbs to Jönköping or the harbour of Göteborg. It leaves nobody untouched and destroys everything in its way. Technically superior and physically independent, it continually transforms, metamorphoses, and reappears, in everchanging incarnations and under different code names. While strangling it’s opponents, it remains untouchable, and even more so — incomprehensible.

It has been said that this is the first time Kopimi frees the world, but we can rest assured that it will not be the last.

- posted by Mason @ 6:46 PM (0) comments

Neil Diamond - "Hello Again" - TV Special (1986)




Sadly, the first 30 seconds of this piece of TV filth weren't on the tape I bought at an estate sale this weekend. This is for Diamond fans and fans of bad 80's variety shows. I post this with love for Neil, who I consider the greatest living American songwriter. This special, however, is fucking awful. I got through it, but just barely. The music video for "Headed for the Future" contained herein can only be described as Neruomancer filtered through Bob Fosse choreography. It's just sick. If you want to, you can look at the IMDB. It's not very interesting.

My Demonoid upload. Highly recommended for fans of my other TV Garbage uploads.



- posted by Mason @ 9:04 PM (1) comments

dbx Model 700 Digital Audio Processor



Uh... did you know this existed?

The dbx Model 700 Digital Audio Processor was a professional audio ADC/DAC combination unit, which digitized a stereo analog audio input into a bitstream, which was then encoded and encapsulated in an analog composite video signal, for recording to tape using a VCR as a transport. Unlike other similar pieces of equipment like the Sony PCM-F1, the Model 700 used a technique called Companded Predictive Delta Modulation, rather than the now-common pulse-code modulation.

Yeah, did you understand that? It's a rack unit that records 644kbs audio to a VHS tape. I would give up one of my toes for one of these. Any information regarding where one of these units might be aquired would be greatly appreciated. Check out this period review.
- posted by Mason @ 5:56 PM (1) comments

I Uploaded Something to that You-Tubes



The VHS tape of NBC's "Hot Country Nights" from 1991 that I bought at an estate sale that smelled like litter box and industrial cleaner had this awesome Grandy's commercial on it. I ripped this to DVD, cut it down, converted it mpg and uploaded it to youtube just for you gentle readers. Mostly for Daniel and Will though.
- posted by Mason @ 9:39 PM (1) comments

Sometimes you think about it...



But you'd never actually go through with it... would you?

Police say Dunkin' Donuts clerk slashed customer's tires
By Norman Miller - MetroWest Daily News

Natick, MA

Instead of getting a coffee from Dunkin' Donuts Tuesday, police say, a customer got his four tires slashed by an angry clerk.

The coffee shop clerk, Thomas J. Zazulak, 39, of Framingham, was arrested at 4:17 p.m. after he slashed four tires on a Jeep Wrangler at the Dunkin' Donuts at 1362 Worcester St., Lt. Brian Grassey said.

The victim, whom police did not name, had ordered coffee, but felt the clerk, Zazulak, was taking too long and decided to leave, which sparked an argument between the pair.

"There was a long line, and after waiting in line, (the victim), ordered a coffee," Grassey said. "He felt it had taken the clerk a substantial amount of time to prepare it, so he decided he had waited long enough and left. The clerk took exception. Words were exchanged. (Zazulak) followed him outside, and continued with the disagreement."

Zazulak was the only one working at the time, and other customers remained in line while the employee continued arguing with the unhappy customer.

The argument took a turn when Zazulak took a large folding knife from his back pocket, Grassey said.

"He slashed all four of the tires," the lieutenant said. "He slashed the tires on the left side of the Jeep, then he went around slashed the tires on the right side. He put the knife back in his pocket, walked away and continued to serve customers."

When police arrived, several witnesses, including children, confirmed the customer's story. Zazulak was arrested.

Zazulak, of 12 Dotty Ann Drive, was charged with malicious and wanton and destruction of property and disturbing the peace while armed.

Zazulak is scheduled to be arraigned today in Natick District Court.

Maybe you should stop being such a fucking bitch to the guy who works at Dunkin' Donuts. If you want real service, you should go to a real coffee shop.
- posted by Mason @ 4:05 PM (0) comments

This 2 Year Old Girl...



...is smarter, healthier and better spoken than most people I know. My favorite video of the week. Ok, my second favorite. Thanks again to Daniel for my favorite:


- posted by Mason @ 4:13 PM (0) comments

For Millionairz Only



Have a several hundred extra dollars you'd like to part with? The guys at Oak Tree Audio would like to separate you from it. I wouldn't ever pay more than $40 for a 70's Pioneer cassette deck in perfect condition. Apparently changing the belts and pinch rollers, along with calibrating the azimuth and flutter is worth $200, because these fuckers are selling shitloads of shockingly overpriced vintage audio gear.

I will say, however, that this rare Professional Sony Walkman Play/Record unit is achingly boner-ific. I shoot my shit for it like no other. It needs to be owned by me and me alone. I'm sure some japanese or german dude paid $500 for it, and that makes me ill. If you see one of these, pick it up for me, kay?


- posted by Mason @ 5:39 PM (0) comments

How to be a Comedian for Fun and Profit



This book (purchased at Half Price, of course) is a primer on how to be the worst comedian of all time. Moreover, it's a step by step guide on how to be Neil Hamburger. Here's a sampling of the jokes:

My wife's meals are something to behold. Not to eat, just to behold.

When she sets a table everything looks so good I don't know what to force down first.

I bought her one of those infra-red stoves that cooks a meal in thirty seconds. It still tastes lousy, but you know it quicker.

As a side note here, there is no book ever published more tailored to Will Scovill's tastes.
- posted by Mason @ 10:01 PM (1) comments

The Least Valentine's Thing Ever



After some careful thought, I've decided that Albert Camus' novel "The Stranger" is the least appropriate thing to blog about on Valentine's Day. It's just fucking depressing. I'm certainly not that guy who harangues other people about what a genius Camus is, but I do really like this novel, despite the crushing weight of it's existentialist absurdism. My memory of listening to other people discuss "The Plague" a decade ago still makes me nauseous. Trying to explain the hopelessness of the human condition to rich teenage girls would depress even Nietzsche. On second thought, maybe the futility of that task simply reaffirms everything he believed.

Apparently there's a 1967 film of the novel starring that hunkiest of hunks, Marcello Mastroianni. It's not available on VHS or DVD, so someone (namely you, dear reader) should rectify that.
- posted by Mason @ 9:34 PM (0) comments

“the absolute extremes of aestheticism”.



Daniel found this awesome Japanese Power Metal video by totally retartedly visual kei-tastic band Versaille. If what you're interested in is Japanese dudes dressed up like Marie Antionette shredding baroque pop, then Versailles is the band for you. Daniel liked this a lot more than I did, I still prefer the euro-power metal, but I thought it was pretty funny.
- posted by Mason @ 8:08 PM (0) comments

Finally, it's mine... all mine.



HAHA! I've been searching for this record non-stop for the better part of the last decade. As a die-hard Brady Bunch fan, the recorded catalog is the Lost Ark of collectibles. These records were never in print on CD, and never sold that well on LP. Consequently, "Merry Christmas", "Meet the Brady Bunch", "The Kids from the Brady Bunch", "The Brady Bunch Phonograph Album" and the above mentioned gem, "Chris Knight & Maureen McCormick" are difficult to come by. I scored my new vinyl copy of this masterpiece at an otherwise horrible estate sale this week. Everything else was drastically overpriced at $2.00, but I would have paid $7.00 for this little fucker without batting an eye.

My first act as this LPs new owner, was to drop it on the turntable and rip it into the H2. I've posted it to Demonoid (of course) as 320kbs mp3s, but I can get you the FLAC files if you need them.
- posted by Mason @ 7:05 PM (1) comments

Blind Guardian - "Tales from the Twilight World" (1990)



I've really been getting into German Power Metal titans Blind Guardian this week. I've listened to Somewhere Far Beyond (1992), Nightfall in Middle-Earth (1998), A Twist in the Myth (2006), but I'm in fucking in love with Tales from the Twilight World (1990).

Blind Guardian, specifically lead singer Hansi Kürsch, are OBSESSED with Tolkien, Moorcock and Stephen King. One of the songs on Tales from the Twilight World is about Dune, and one is even called "Tommyknockers"... awesome. Hansi is also a huge Freddie Mercury fan, using hundreds of vocal overdub tracks to create massive fantasy metal choirs of himself. It's pretty god-damn epic.

Someone here in Dallas should want to start a power metal band with me. I'd like it to all be based on the Book of the New Sun. I'll play bass.
- posted by Mason @ 5:54 PM (0) comments

Worst Cover, Best Book



Kenneth Davids LITERALLY wrote the book on coffee. I own three different editions of "Coffee" (and will continue to buy more copies as I find them). I found his follow up, "Espresso: Ultimate Coffee" for $3.98 at Half Price. [Remember that I'm willing to pay more for coffee books.] David's technical details are unsurpassed while his writing style remains accessible and engaging. You should probably read this book. Unless you hate coffee, in which case you can go fuck yourself.
- posted by Mason @ 5:30 PM (0) comments

Loving the Alien



I had a conversation (if you can call being ranted at a conversation) with one of the craziest people of all time. He is an alien. He was sent by our father in heaven. He cannot grow a beard because it's not in our father's plan, but that's ok because his old lady likes camouflage instead. Bradley and I must have known Abraham Lincoln since we have beards. If you speak spanish he'd like you to come to Mexico with him and spread our father's word.

Right, like I said, fucking nuts. Look at his website.
- posted by Mason @ 5:10 PM (0) comments

Amerikkkan Idolatry



I HATE Tatiana Del Toro. She is unquestionably the most annoying person to ever appear on Idol. I want her to catch on fire. I'm so afraid that I will have to listen to her for the rest of the season.
- posted by Mason @ 8:32 PM (0) comments

White Trash. Pure and Simple.



Our super filthy neighbors who love to yell and scream and fight and lock each other out and call the cops and throw burnt french fries on their porch threw this video tape out of their door last night.
- posted by Mason @ 8:32 PM (0) comments

It's Gonna Move Ya



The first time I ever bought gum with my own money, it was the big pack of juicy fruit. I forced every stick into my mouth and chewed it all up in a huge wad that made my jaw ache. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea at the time...
- posted by Mason @ 8:17 PM (0) comments

Russian Watches


I've been drooling over these awesome repro soviet watches. Evidently the actual soviet military issue pieces are double extra collectible and expensive. I'll happily take the $75 waterproof version. Like a lot of watch companies, there are really too many models for me to choose from. Casio makes some great watches, but trying to pick from 100 faces that are all the same price and that look incredibly similar is almost impossible.

It kills me that soviet military surplus is sold at thrift store prices in market stalls all across Russia, but I have to pay through the nose for it.
- posted by Mason @ 7:58 PM (0) comments

My New Favorite Joke... Ever


via oldjewstellingjokes.com

I've been telling this joke at work all week. How can I resist a joke about a grocery store? After telling it, my friend Bradley told me this joke: (he didn't tell it like this, obviously. my transcription of it isn't an attempt to tell the joke, only to relate it's structure and meaning such that you might tell it yourself.)

A lady is checking out at the grocery store and the young man sacking her items is mentally handicapped (the word retarded is funnier) As he bags her groceries, he sees she's bought a Diet Coke, a Weight Watchers frozen dinner, a can of cat food and a single serving salad. As he hands her the bag he says, (use retard voice) "Gee lady, I guess you must be single." The lady smiles and says, (use sweet middle aged lady voice) "Oh, could you tell that because of what I bought?". (switch back to retard voice) "No, because you're fuckin' ugly."

I think that's a funny joke. Not as funny as the Broccoli joke, but pretty funny.
Tell me your jokes about the grocery store.
- posted by Mason @ 8:52 PM (0) comments

Avalanch - La Llama Eterna (1997)


there's also an english language version called "eternal flame"... it's mixed differently and not nearly as good

As a total sucker for European (especially Spanish) Power Metal, how can I resist AVALANCH, the darlings of Asturias? This record is actually pretty good. Much, much better than a lot of the other things I've listened to this week. Totally shred and the vocals are muy bueno. The singer and drummer from this band are now in WarCry (also awesome).



from the live album "Dias de Gloria"
- posted by Mason @ 10:11 PM (1) comments

Oh. Wow.



What more compelling argument is there for the internet?
- posted by Mason @ 8:44 PM (1) comments

How have I missed this?



Arguably the best Wilfred Brimley Diabetes Remix Video on youtube.
- posted by Mason @ 6:47 PM (0) comments