Vegan Rap



dead prez are vegan.

you should listen to this song about veganism.



or you can click here to listen.
- posted by Mason @ 9:31 PM (0) comments

I am now tape god jesus.



My 122 finally came, and I'm so excited. I've ordered a belt kit from our friends at vintage-electronics.com so I can get this beaut in tip top shape. (I can't imagine that the state agency from which this unit was surplus ever changed the belts or serviced it at all). It's so gorgeous that I can't stand it.
- posted by Mason @ 11:27 PM (0) comments

Another Classic Craigslist Ad



I know that it's wrong for me to make fun of things like this, but I can't help it. I'll choose not to comment, but let the ad dig it's own grave. (Note the astonishing use of apostrophes.)

2 Electric Guitar's (bass and acoustic)and Electronic Keyboard - $100

I bought these two guitar's six year's ago for house decoration's.I don't know how to play a guitar and don't even know if they work!I was told they do.The bass guitar is a Peavy.Need's the adjustment of the bone that hold's string's in place carved in.It has the part,I was going to do it but never got around to it.I painted the bottom of it to match the room.The acoustic is a Cruise created for VMI.It has the same problem as the other one.No bone provided.Also the back plate missing.Don't know if any part's are(picture provided).Electric keyboard is two month's old.I bought this new for $80.It's a casio with 100 rythum's,100 tones, and 100 song's.I will also include a learning DVD for piano.If you need extra picture's let me know.
This is good for somebody who know's how fix'em or someone wanting to decorate their room like me!

How can I not buy this stuff? The crazy part is that for a hundred bucks, it wouldn't be a terrible deal if she hadn't covered the bass with cheap flat house paint.
- posted by Mason @ 11:55 PM (0) comments

"Anybody wanna crash some planes?"


dan akroyd is god, as "mother" in the movie Sneakers

Meg had never seen Sneakers before, so we watched it this afternoon. I forgot how much I like it. It's the hackingest movie ever. It so far outshines Hackers it's not even funny. The only other [non WarGames] computer movie that I think comes close to Sneakers is Antitrust. Other suggestions for a computer science film festival?
- posted by Mason @ 1:04 AM (0) comments

"You know who you look just like?"


does this look like me? i should say not.

This guy who comes in the store a lot is obsessed with my beard. Every time I see him he tells me about how he used to have a beard but it went gray so he shaved it off. He rides a very, very expensive road bike and eats coffee beans to "satisfy his oral fixation" (his words not mine). He always tells me that I need to enjoy my beard while I can because it's going to go gray and I'll have to cut it. I've had this conversation with him several times, to the point that I think he's hitting on me.

Today he's talking to me, and I'm sort of ignoring him, sort of avoiding him, but he waits for me come back over to the espresso machine. He says, "Do you know who you look just like?".

ME: I have no idea...
GUY: US Grant
ME: Really? I don't know about that... we both have brown beards but...
GUY: You know who he was? The civil war general? I know a lot about the civil war.
ME: Well, I don't have a big cigar, so I don't know...
GUY: You know he smoked ten cigars a day. He died of throat cancer you know.
ME: Well, cigars are bad for you.
GUY: You know, a lot of people don't know this, but so many people back in the 18th and even the 17th centuries, like back in the 1700s, well they all had beards because they really didn't have anything sharp to shave their faces with...
ME: (stunned silence) Oh yeah? Huh...
GUY: Yeah, that's why you see all those old pictures with men with full beards, they looked like that because they didn't have a way to shave.

I chose the better part of valor and just agreed with him instead of citing a long list of examples about why that's not true at all. Why would you think that? I'm baffled by it. I can see how you might think that if you were talking about the 12th century, but even then you'd be wrong. Anyway, the dude creeps me out and wears wrap around sunglasses and lycra cycling shorts.
- posted by Mason @ 7:09 PM (0) comments

88 Keys of mother-fucking fury.



If you've never listened to Floyd Cramer, you should. My grandfather LOVED Floyd Cramer, and for good reason. Cramer was the king of Nashville piano pop. It's jazzy, it's country, it's laid back and it swings. I recomend picking up any Cramer album (pre 1970) if it's a dollar. Try to avoid cheap Pickwick compilations (really, a good rule of thumb for any and all record shopping), or best of repackages. I had a copy of this years ago. I got rid of it in a big purge, and have been looking for a clean copy ever since.
- posted by Mason @ 7:09 PM (0) comments

Symphonic Slam



I bought this album at half price today for $1.00. It features the "360 Systems Guitar Synthesizer Prototype". It's from 1976 and it's so fucking prog that I can't stand it. I'll rip it from LP and upload it.

You should buy it. You should read about it. You should see what he does now.
- posted by Mason @ 7:09 PM (0) comments

Success! I am now the cassette tape master.



I finally bought a Tascam 122! I'm so excited. It was $75 bucks on that ebay. I can't fucking wait to mix down on this bad motherfucker.
- posted by Mason @ 11:21 PM (0) comments

Thanksgiving, Vegan Style!


Delicious Vegan Thanksgiving by Megan!

I worked this morning. Wow. I poured an umpteen zillion cups of coffee... it was fucking great. I came home to this amazing feast of epic proportions.

Stuffing. Mashed Potatoes. Crock Cheeze. Homemade Rolls. Sage Roasted Portabellos. Green Bean Casserole. Veggie Plate. Corn (I like canned corn, ok? It's organic.). Roasted Cauliflower. Pumpkin Pie.

Megan made everything from scratch, with the exception of the bread as the base for the stuffing. We bought ciabatta from work for that.

In all, it was mind blowing. I could not have been happier.
- posted by Mason @ 10:39 PM (0) comments

Protest the Turkey Holocaust!


this is our turkey, oak.

Instead of feasting on the roasted flesh of an innocent bird who's lived it's short miserable life in agonizing pain, adopt one instead! We've adopted OAK as our thanksgiving bird! Farm Sanctuary is the best, and you should adopt one too!
- posted by Mason @ 4:55 PM (0) comments

Return of the Ghostbusters



Megan and I just downloaded and watched the independent fan film Return of the Ghostbusters. I thought for a fan film, it was really good. Comedy is incredibly difficult to do well, and for a bunch of guys about my age with no money, a video camera and a computer, they did a pretty good fucking job. It looked nice, the story was good and a few of the jokes were funny. For my taste, some of the jokes bordered on parody, and were sort of flat against the quite serious plotline. I'm not really a fan of very topical, pop culture centered comedy mixed in with serious story lines unless it's done amazingly well. Judd Apatow manages it quite well, but he's also a very seasoned comedy writer and director. I felt like some of the comedy in this movie was included just because they wanted to have a joke about Dr. Phil (or someone else). I also think that jokes that a character says that are referential to how they're a character in a movie are incredibly trite and haven't been cutting edge for ten years.

Despite all this, I liked this movie and I recommend it to other Ghostbusters fans.
- posted by Mason @ 10:58 PM (0) comments

I am a homeless person.



It would really help if you could have smelled me after I rode my bike home from work. I smelled hot... you know how street people smell sweaty? Not like BO, just sweaty. It's November and it's 80 degrees here. How horrid.

I look like "Wheatgrass Andrew" in this picture. He actually sort of wears hats like mine.
----------------------------------
The Moon Mission Death Squad asks you for change in the parking lot.
- posted by Mason @ 9:29 PM (0) comments

Picture this: Sicily, 1922


"If I knew then What I Know Now... So What?"
By America's Favorite Golden Girl, Estelle Getty

Hell Yeah! Last time I was at Half Price they had this little beaut for $3. Too rich for my blood, grandma. Tonight we went by before joining my dad at Buzzbrew's for veggie fajitas. This lovely gem was marked down to only $1, so I snatched it up. It's mostly just her musings on life in general, and it's quite funny and well written. There's a whole chapter called, "So Eat Something": The Art of Being Jewish.

Lack of food makes Jewish people, at least this Jewish person, very insecure. If I have to make a trip of more than 15 blocks, I take along a piece of fruit. If I don't, I know in my heart I'll die of scurvy.

I think that's great. If you've never watched, and I mean really watched, The Golden Girls, you really should. It's just wonderful. Estelle Getty, I salute you.
- posted by Mason @ 11:20 PM (0) comments

Titanes En El Ring



I bought this most excellent South American wrestling record at the thrift store today. I love it very, very much. Sadly, the record itself is pretty shot. Not unplayable, but pretty close. I did a quick search and here's what I found:

(via [or viva?] Spanish Wikipedia)

Titans in the Ring was a wrestling Argentine television program created in the channel 9 in Buenos Aires on March 3, 1962 by Martin Karadagián.

The style of catch submitted by this program was continued by others as Fight Fort where the hero was the champion Argentine Ruben Peucelle "width" and the current success Uruguayan Gladiadores the Ring, where the surreal environment of the characters and fanaticism of the boys remains. The style of catch submitted by this program was continued by others as Fight Fort where the hero was the champion Argentine Ruben Peucelle "width" and the current success Uruguayan Gladiadores the Ring, where the surreal environment of the characters and fanaticism of the boys remains.

Click here for the full-res (9mb, wow!) scan.
- posted by Mason @ 10:32 PM (0) comments

Sometimes the negatives are positives.



Sure, we live in a neighborhood with a large homeless population, but there's an upside as well. Anything you want to get rid of, you just leave out on the street. Clothes? Gone. Empty wooden boxes? Gone. Plastic hangers? Gone. Broken bicycle? Gone.

This bike was a foolish purchase. It was the correct height for Meg, but the frame was really cheap and horrible to ride. It was not good. However, the pedal I stole off of it was very useful in fixing up the new Columbia I bought. So there. Now it's gone, taken by a homeless person. It's still ridable with only one pedal... sort of.
- posted by Mason @ 5:44 PM (0) comments

Do you, Teeccino?



Teeccino Herbal Coffee makes the best lattes ever. I just looked at their website and they have ESPRESSO GRIND! Oh daddy. If you've never had this delicious brew, you really should. It's roasted chicory, barley, figs, almonds, carob and other natural flavors. It's caffeine free, alkaline and totally vegan. Teeccino shots from the espresso machine, frothed soy milk and agave nectar makes one of the most delicious drinks on the planet. Don't believe the yerba mate hype, caffeine is bad for you. Choose herbal teas and herbal coffee.

Come see me and I'll brew you up one.
- posted by Mason @ 4:35 PM (0) comments

Garfield Thanksgiving Special



I just downloaded this. I'm excited. It's going to be a holiday tradition from now on. I am currently watching Cameron Crowe's Elizabethtown. It's good. It's very Cameron Crowe. Very.
- posted by Mason @ 11:30 PM (0) comments

Best Movie Ever?


tom selleck gets sprayed in the face with acid by robot spiders

Runaway. Sigh. In 1984 Tri-Star thought they were going to really clean up with this movie. It seems like a good idea. Huge name writer/director Micheal Crichton (ten years earlier he'd scored big with Westworld... I LOVE Westworld, and both The Terminal Man and The Andromeda Strain based on his novels had also done well). Tom Selleck starring as kind hearted but tough as nails cop in the future? How could it not score big? Basically because it's not that great. Well, it was very Crichton, which I liked, of course. He's the king of "technology is a tool which we control, let it control you and watch the world fall apart". Like most of his work, it's fundamentally a morality play centered around a character or set of characters who are initiates of a technology, but still in some way skeptical toward it.

In the near future, semi-sentient household robots take care of all of our day to day needs. Robots build all of our buildings, drive taxis, cook food in restaurants, etc. Gene Simmons, that greasy misogynist intolerant prick, is an evil mafioso who finances a microchip that makes robots kill people. Tom Selleck is a cop on the "Robot Runaway" unit. Blah, blah, blah you can figure out the rest.

IMDB says that this movie didn't do well because The Terminator overshadowed it's release. I call bullshit on that. Terminator was released on October 26th. This movie came out on December 14th. EIGHT WEEKS LATER. There's no way that the Terminator's box office draw affected this in anyway. That's pure fallacy. Box Office Mojo (the best site on earth) says that for the 50th week of 1984: everyone's favorite train wreck, Dune made $6 million plus, and John Carpenter's Starman made almost $3 million. 2010, released the previous week, made $4 million plus. All four of these movies are rated PG or PG-13, The Terminator is rated R. Not even targeted at the same audience. So fuck you, whoever wrote that thing on IMDB, you're wrong. And a dickhead. This whole thing pissed me off so much, I submitted a correction to IMDB. I'm a geek.
- posted by Mason @ 9:12 PM (0) comments

Superman Dance



Megan and I spent the afternoon watching the 2007 Texas Senior Beauty Pageant (because I'm a cable access addict). I know it's cruel and exploitative, but I couldn't resist taking a little video of this lady dancing to the theme from Superman dressed as Superman. It's wrong, I know, and I should be ashamed, but I just can't help myself. I hope in ten years my mom will start participating in senior beauty pageants... hint hint.
- posted by Mason @ 1:17 PM (0) comments

"It will be mine... oh yes, it will be mine."



I will buy this Peavey Razer. I love it soooooooo much. I only wish it was a different colour. I think I'm realistically willing to pay up to $200 for it. I'm hoping that it won't go for much since they don't take paypal. (Who the fuck doesn't take paypal?)

Anyone have an opinion on VAT/GST versus U.S. Sales Tax? I just read this entire wikipedia article on it, and I don't know really how I feel about it. It seems to me like the VAT keeps the supply chain more honest, creates more revenue for the state, and doesn't impact the consumer any differently. The other VAT advantage to the state is that sales taxes aren't applicable toward services and the VAT/GST is.

I used to be against sales tax because it acts as a regressive tax and as such, is more disadvantageous to lower income households, but I now don't see that as a problem. In the EU most countries have a 17 to 20 percent VAT, and if we had much higher sales taxes here in the US, it would discourage our rampant consumerism. Especially since such a huge chunk of what Americans buy is produced if not in sweat shops or by slave labor, is at least manufactured by people earning far less than a fair wage who live under the oppressive thumb of their corrupt governments. Who profits from this? American corporations. Oil companies who sell fuel to have this cheap garbage trucked across the country. Mega retailers who negotiate absurdly low prices by purchasing entire forests worth of cheap pink notebooks with the word "Sexy" on the cover.

Things should be more expensive. But not this guitar I want. It should be $100.
- posted by Mason @ 6:10 PM (0) comments

Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me...


blurry old cheap digital camera picture of blue dick himself.

Megan and I were rearranging some stuff tonight and we pulled everything out of our living room closet. We found the giant (two foot long) phillips head screwdriver meant as a present for Bam (avid readers will remember that my grandfather passed away in March) last xmas. I accidentally left it here in Dallas, and consequently never gave it to him. I was going to tell him that it was so he could "put the screws to everybody" which he would have thought was fucking hilarious.

When Meg pulled it out of a box, I just lost it. For some reason it just destroyed me, and the sadness and loss welled up and washed over me, vivid, fresh and anew. It felt like it just happened all over again, and just shattered me. My grandfather dying, for me, was so much more than just losing a loved one. You have to understand that Bam was my role model, my archtype, my Robert Mitchum. Since becoming self-aware (I suppose after about 12 or 13), he's always been my moral center, my guideline for how to interact with the outside (which in many ways explains my charm, biting wit and self confidence... nay, arrogance). I guess it's one of those things where the hurt will always be fresh in some ways. I know for my mother, it's the silence of the empty house when my grandmother isn't home that breaks her. For me, tonight, the novelty screwdriver with the cheap green plastic handle ripped me apart.

I miss Bam and I always will, but every time I steam a cup of milk with his thermometer, it reminds me of who I am, where I come from and the standard of humanity by which I abide.
- posted by Mason @ 11:00 PM (0) comments

Estate Sales give me....... PENCILS



For a buck I got this HUGE bag of pencils, pens, erasers, markers and the like. I weeded out most of it, as it was pens that didn't work, pencil lead that I don't need, dried up markers and erasers... you get the idea. What I've chosen to keep is what you see above. I've gotten on a bit of pencil kick from my friend JR. He's been going on about pencils for a while at work, and I've started using one to write PLUs on cups. I'm super into how totally vintage all these pencils are. If anyone wants a ton of .5 mechanical pencil lead, let me know.
- posted by Mason @ 7:07 PM (0) comments

SK-1 to the rescue.



I recorded a pretty rockin' cover of ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" (from Eliminator [1983], gross) and I broke out our old friend the SK-1. I hadn't really used it in almost three years, and it felt really good to play it again.

If you've never used an SK-1 or SK-5, you're really missing out. They're a favourite of circuit benders, but I'm a huge fan of them just unmodded.

I'll post the song tomorrow after I mix it down. I think you'll like it.


- posted by Mason @ 11:29 PM (0) comments

I Broke on Through to the Other Side



I fully stepped my game up on the pizza today. I had to work pizza and coffee this morning, so I dropped the fucking bomb on the pie production. We've gone to round doughs (yay!) so I've started to toss them. Yes, I said that I can toss pizza dough now. I was so proud of myself when I caught the first one that I almost cried. Of course it takes YEARS of work to be a champion, and I'm sure I'll never even come close to achieving that status, but just being able to do it makes me really, really happy.

I think it's a great sort of theatre to be able to perform in front of customers, and really makes it something special and cool. Along the same lines I'd love to learn some Tom Cruise style tricks to rock on the coffee bar, ala cup flipping and the like. I often do the super long pour, which is pretty easy and looks cool, and I'm sort of starting to edge into latte art. I'm very interested in becoming a super serious and hardcore barista, and I wish I could afford to go to a real school. Alas, reading and online research will have to do. Can anyone recommend a good book about baristism?
- posted by Mason @ 11:16 PM (0) comments

Willie Says "Fuck You" to Dairy.



"My wife actually got worried about my drinking so much regular milk, you know, so she got me into rice milk and now soy milk, which I greatly enjoy. A soy mocha's a fine thing." -Willie Nelson

Right on Willie, right on.
- posted by Mason @ 11:20 PM (0) comments

When Bugs Bunny Drinks a Potion and Blows Flames Out of His Mouth


the cayenne, dad.

Sweet Mary, Mother of God, I nearly killed myself today. I've read some stuff and seen some products pushed as "Aztec" style drinking chocolates. I make totally killer drinking chocolate at work and I'm always looking to expand our drink selection, add variety and drop mad coffee knowledge on the masses. Most of the stuff I'd looked at was coco or drinking chocolate with cayenne added, so I decided to try it.

Obviously, I know that cayenne is VERY strong and super fucking hot... I'm not stupid, and I do work with food on a daily basis. I figured that 1/4 teaspoon in an 8oz cup of steamed soy milk and chocolate shavings would give it a little kick. Seems reasonable, yeah?

I foamed the soy, dropped the choc and pepper in the ibrik pitcher, poured the milk over and whisked. Dumped into a cup, I let it sit for a couple of seconds while I rinsed my dishes (rinse your pitchers after every drink, you lazy Starbux piece of milk-refoaming shit). I tasted it. It was great... for the three seconds before my throat and tongue exploded in pain. Wow. 1/4 teaspoon is WAY TO FUCKING MUCH CAYENNE PEPPER. I was gagging and coughing. It sucked a dick. I'm trying it again tomorrow, I'll be using 1/8 teaspoon in 12oz. We'll see how it goes.
- posted by Mason @ 10:35 PM (0) comments

"The Doctor is IN!"



Meg and I watched Dr. Giggles tonight. Wow. It wasn't very good. This is the final scene where he gets his "just desserts". I don't even want to get into the number of scientific irregularities in this clip. It's just retarded. You'd have to be a small child or an adult with a developmental disability to think that what happens here could possibly take place in the real world.

Where was the technical advisor on this film?
- posted by Mason @ 10:35 PM (0) comments

Ubuntu For Everyone, thanks to Wal-Mart



I know a lot of sources had reported on the new $199 "green" Ubuntu PC called the gPC at Wal-Mart, but I actually downloaded the gOS and tried it out. Not only is it a slick, well thought and intuitive port of ubuntu, but now everyone can afford a computer, even dumb-ass white trash. The basic concept is that everyone primarily uses internet based apps anyway, so why load your average person down with apps they don't need. Links to blogger, facebook, all the google apps, meebo, you-tube, wikipedia and a google search integrated onto the desktop, it's really all "joe schmo" needs. Unlike vanilla ubuntu, right out of the box it comes with a number of proprietary and closed source plugins, drivers and codecs, which takes most of the guesswork out of opensource.

I think this an even greater triumph for the open-source/ubuntu community than Dell shipping linux PCs, because this is the linux for the people. Know what I mean, Vern?
- posted by Mason @ 5:11 PM (0) comments

Your Home Organ is Worthless



I'm on that internet quite a bit. I look at the craiglist-dallas "musical instrument" category every day, so I see pretty much everything that people are trying to sell in one of the largest metroplexes in America. In short, I know what's out there.

People seem to be laboring under the impression that home organs (Conns, Lowerys, Thomases, Yamahas, etc.) are somehow worth more than $1. Memo to everyone: They're Not. You should pay ME to come get your dead relatives keyboard. Unless you have a Hammond B or M series, or a huge professional theater/church organ [please note: must have a separate spin unit] your crummy keyboard is junk. It's to be hauled off to the dump. Everyday I see them posted for $300-$700 dollars and it's simply laughable.

I know that your great-aunt paid $1200 for it new in 1978 [on a payment plan from Sears, no less], but it simply has no value. Please stop posting it. Thank you.
- posted by Mason @ 12:36 PM (0) comments

Dear Megan, Happy Birthday, I Love You.



Today is Meg's birthday. I surprised her with a trip to the Dallas Zoo. We spent all day at the zoological park, and it was really amazing. We spent about 30 minutes sitting with a pair of Lowland Gorillas and marveling at their humanity. As you well know, we're two of the most jaded people in America but being two feet away from primates that are so evolutionarily close to us, yet still so alien was an overwhelming experience. They almost fall into what is referred to as the "uncanny valley" in AI. Gorillas are SO human that they blur the lines of what should be considered personhood.

After the zoo we stopped by the store to pick up some food and I was talking to a fellow employee about how emotionally destroyed the experience with the ape had left me. Her response, not surprisingly was, "Well, they're just monkeys, they're not people." Of course I couldn't let that go.

"Do you think that mentally handicapped people are human?" Of course she does.
"What's the difference?" Silence. Nothing. No response.

If you're going to consider people who can't speak, or can't reason, or can't drive cars or hold jobs human, then so are higher primates. Hello, KOKO? She fucking learned sign language. She's smarter than some of the people I've worked with in the past.
- posted by Mason @ 10:49 PM (0) comments