Swedish Folk Power Metal: FALCONER!



This week I've downloaded about 40gigs of Power, Thrash, Folk and Medieval Metal. Falconer are a totally insane Folk Power Metal band from Sweden. They're sort of OK. The lyrics are pretty silly, but that may be a product of singing in a non-native language. The shred is killer, but the vocals are a little flat. They're worth listening to if you're into Norse shit. And I am!



Ridiculous Swedish Lyrics:
Over rivers and seas
Cross valleys and heaths,
To the edge of the world and back
Our journey did lead.
Father up in the sky
Let the ravens fly,
To soar aside our ship of oak as
Wild oceans we ride.

In the prow I stand
Hungry for dry land.
A homeward hammerheart.

Northwind embrace me
As I face the horizon.
Carry me safe ashore
As you did my brethren of yore.
- posted by Mason @ 9:22 PM (0) comments

Dolly Parton Pinball Machine


thanks to pinballrebel.com for the pic i stole from them

Meg just hipped me to the fact that there is 1979 Bally pinball machine featuring Mother Mary herself. I would love to play this. I'm straight, but Dolly Parton is fucking fabulous.

Some quotes:

"It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen."

"Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills."

"You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!"

"I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out."

"I'm in showbiz. I look at my boobs like they're show horses or show dogs. You've got to keep
them groomed."

"I hope people realize that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs."

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blond."

- posted by Mason @ 9:22 PM (0) comments

the best latte art i've ever seen



I would die to make latte art this good. Only the japanese can execute this level of difficulty.
- posted by Mason @ 7:45 PM (0) comments

Hiking Dallas, Cont.



We've been going out to Cedar Ridge Preserve a lot recently. I like hiking. The new plan is to do a multi-day hike this spring and a thru-hike this fall. REI had some mad fucking deals on gear, so we've now got packs, bags and a tent. We're going to fuck some shit up hike-rock style.
- posted by Mason @ 7:11 PM (0) comments

How hippies appreciate media.


["money" by pink floyd is playing over the pa system]

Old Hippie: Hey, what do you think about that Pink Floyd band, man?

Me: I despise them. I think they're self indulgent drug fueled nonsense. I don't like anything about them.

Old Hippie: Oh man, you're missing out.

Me: It's not that I only listen to new rock or something... I love King Crimson, early Genesis, the Beach Boys. I just really hate Pink Floyd.

he gets really serious, puts his hands on the counter, leaning in toward me. his eyes narrow and his voices drops in pitch and volume, almost to a whisper.

Old Hippie: Well maybe you haven't listened to it loud enough man.

What. The. Fuck. That's the most twisted, burnt-out, pothead, rainbow gathering logic I've ever heard. That's me like saying, "Well, I don't really like The English Patient, it's over-long, confusing, sappy and heavy handed, and not very well acted or directed." And then you saying, "But maybe you just didn't watch on a big enough tv."
- posted by Mason @ 6:47 PM (1) comments

Small Town Gay Bar (2006)



It would be really difficult to be out and gay in Northern Mississippi. I thought "Small Town Gay Bar" was interesting, if not very well put together. While entertaining, this movie strays beyond it's stated premise into larger themes about homosexuality, religion and the social implications of being gay and southern. One of the later sections deals with the history of gay bars in N. Mississippi 1978-present, which I felt should have been the main focus of the feature. Storytelling aside, southern drag queens make me smile. They're just so damn bubbly.
- posted by Mason @ 6:48 PM (0) comments

My New Favorite Cartoon Character



Poor Fart Dog, he just can't help it. I took this picture with my camera phone in a public bathroom. I love it and I want a Fart Dog t-shirt. I think there's real money to be made.
- posted by Mason @ 11:19 PM (1) comments

Columbia Branded Tape Player



Don't forget which side your bread is buttered on. Capitol Records made your tape player, so you'd better only buy tapes by Capitol Records artists.



I thought about stealing this, stripping the label away from the poisonous and harmful acid inside, scanning it and making stickers or t-shirts.
- posted by Mason @ 7:15 PM (1) comments

God Forbid: Metal as Fuck



I listen to the metal station on XM quite a lot. Most of what I hear is crap, but yesterday I caught a song by New Jersey band God Forbid that I quite liked. The guitars are crushing as fuck, the vocals aren't stupid, and I like their album concepts and lyrics. Also, they're a racially integrated metal band, and that's always fucking awesome.

Give it a listen, why don't you?
- posted by Mason @ 6:48 PM (2) comments

H2 up in my shit.



Wellllllll....... So remember when the H4 I had broke? And how there are about 30 albums that I need to rip that I haven't? Yeah. So now I've got and H2 instead (thanks dad and the NAMM show!). So I'll now be ripping all that shit. I was also hooked up with a stereo iAudio USB interface, which I did a quick test on and seems to sound pretty good. Low noise, good output. It has a dedicated phono input and grounding screw, which is pretty cool - negating the need for an external phono preamp. That being said, I'll be conducting and posting tests with a number of different combinations of H2/iAudio/PC/Preamp to see which sounds the best. I know, I'm sick.


Zoom H2 modification; now with 4 line inputs! from Berto Aussems on Vimeo.

Also, some dude has hacked the fuck out of the H2. I have no use for this hack, but I can see how you would. It would be great for soundboard taping.
- posted by Mason @ 6:48 PM (0) comments

John Forté is out of prison.



Hey, did you know that Orrin Hatch got Bush to release John Forté from prison just before xmas this year? I had no fucking idea. In case you don't remember:

In 2000, Forté was arrested at Newark International Airport after accepting a briefcase containing $1.4 million worth of liquid cocaine; he was charged with possession with intent to distribute cocaine and conspiracy to distribute.[2] He was convicted and sentenced to the mandatory minimum 14 years after being found guilty, and incarcerated at FCI Loretto, a low-security federal prison in central Pennsylvania.[1]

Carly Simon and her son Ben Taylor have been advocates on Forte's behalf, believing he did not receive a fair trial, fought for an appeal of the mandatory minimum drug laws that remove a judge’s discretion in a case; they met Forté through Taylor's cousin who was a classmate of Forté's at Phillips Exeter.[3]

With the help of Senator Orrin Hatch, Forté's prison sentence was commuted by President George W. Bush on November 24, 2008. He was released from prison four weeks later December 22. [via wikipedia]

- posted by Mason @ 6:47 PM (0) comments

I know... I missed the big day.


[art by munk one. via theblogblog]

Well, it happened. I can't believe it. 01/20/08, motherfuckers. Best recognize.
- posted by Mason @ 6:48 PM (1) comments

Tascam 388... if only.



I'm thinking about finishing this record, then rearranging the studio, unpacking my vintage Soundcraft board and buying a Tascam 238 eight track cassette. I've ALWAYS wanted one.
I'm an idiot and I should have bought the 388 that Crazy Wayne at Atomic Guitars had ten years ago. I can't remember how much he wanted for it, but I could have worked it off. Oh well. I think I'm going to do the same thing I did with the 122, and just wait until the perfect one comes up on ebay. It would be well worth my $250, but I want one that I know works. I just love the shit out of cassette tapes. If there was a way to sync multiple 234s, that would be cooler, but you can't.
- posted by Mason @ 6:47 PM (0) comments

No Sonny, the other one, they draw bigger titties in that one.



I found this dirty comic book in the parking lot of our apartments. The breasts and bottoms of the ladies in this comic are drawn so outlandishly gargantuan that they simply boggle the mind. I wish my spanish was better so I could know what was happening in it. I can scan the rest of it if you're interested. Sadly I don't know what it's called because it has no cover.
- posted by Mason @ 7:49 PM (1) comments

"Why don't they just put Marmaduke to sleep?" - Jake Morgendorffer



I love MTV's Daria. It's one of my favorite series of all time. Sadly, there will never be a DVD release thanks to the impossibility of licensing all the music. They'd never make their money back after paying for every clip of every 90's alternative song used on the show.

I downloaded a "complete" torrent of Daria from that pIrAteBaYdOtCoM, and you should too. The quality, sources and codecs are mixed. Most are Tivo rips, some are VHS. Some are MTV2, some are French Canadian (but still in english) and some are the crappy edited versions shown on The N. But it's every episode and that's more than anyone else is going to give you.

I think I'd forgotten how much Daria reflected my worldview at the time, and it makes me laugh that I think so differently now. It's still really funny and has held up very well in the ten years since it started.
- posted by Mason @ 7:49 PM (1) comments

No, that's a Red Eye.


(whoa... killer crema bro. totally.)

Stop. Rewind. There are several different things here that need to be cleared up. First, please order what you actually want. If you don't know what it's called, describe the contents of the drink or the actions you wish me to take when making it. Second, there is no where on earth where two shots in a cup of drip is called an Americano. You're ill informed, and that's inexcusable. So to remedy that situation, here is a list of coffee drink names, and what they are.

(for the purposes of this list we'll assume 12oz cups)
Drip - drip coffee. out of the airpot. in a cup.
Red Eye - two shots with 9oz of the darkest drip pumped over it. the boilermaker/sake bomb of the coffee world. EDIT: also called a Depth Charge in the Midwest.
Americano - two shots with 9oz of water from the hot tap poured over it.
Long Black - 9oz of water from the hot tap with two shots poured in it (yes, there's a huge fucking difference)
Lungo - 10oz of water run over a triple shot, all brewed through the espresso machine. (i won't drink them, but the italians love that shit)

Does that clear this shit up? Don't even get me started on steamed or foamed milk. That's not just a different post, that's another blog altogether.
- posted by Mason @ 7:48 PM (0) comments

Pack it In, Pack it Out...



Hiking in Dallas? Take MLK all the way down past 175, turn right on Myrtle, then right on Bexar. Follow it south until it dead ends. Get out of your car, cross the bridge, climb up the hill and back down the other side. Take the dirt road in front of you a few hundred yards and stand in front of the sign. You're now in Rochester Park at the Texas Buckeye Trail's head. It's a short one, only about three miles, but it's pleasant, heavily wooded and highly secluded. The bottom of the trail's loop brings you face to face with the Trinity River, which is pretty skank this time of year, but should be roaring come spring.

We love it, and have been going out several times a week. The dogs go fucking crazy for it.
- posted by Mason @ 9:51 PM (0) comments

David Benoit Exposes Occultic Tendencies in Rock Music



David Benoit Exposes Occultic Tendencies in Rock Music [198?]

If you've noticed a marked change in your teenagers behavior, this video is for you . . . since what appears to you as "just a phase" could actually be a new lifestyle they adopted as a result of Satan's influence in rock music today. For example: Did you know? The Satanists have their own Bible? It was written in 1969. Two Satanic churches are listed in the San Francisco phone book? Satanists even have their own tax exempt status? Therefore, in essence, they are a church. So, Satanism is not a fad -- it's a religion! What you will see on this video is controversial and may be unbelievable -- even shocking . . . but it's true!



Well, this is another thrift store find. It's fucking amazing. Everything you ever wanted to know about knee jerk christian reactionism to popular music. Benoit follows logic trails so narrow and rocky, a thinking man would lose his way. But a bible beating southern baptist preacher will feel right at home with Pastor David's ignorant, frightened and laughably out of touch views on music and culture. There's not really much online about this ding-a-ling, but there is a tasty looking follow up to this tape titled "David Benoit Exposes Violence in Rock Music". If anyone owns or finds a copy, let me know.

Download it from Demonoid.
- posted by Mason @ 6:08 PM (2) comments

Testy-Culls




Velleman SuperTest 10-Way Audio Cable Tester $59.95

Tests for:
* 6.3mm jack
* 3.5mm jack
* XLR 3P (M/F)
* XLR 5P (M/F)
* phono / RCA
* banana plug
* Speakon® 8P
* Speakon® 4P
* DIN 3P / 5P / 7P / 8P
* 5-pin mini DIN
- posted by Mason @ 10:19 PM (0) comments

What. A. Fucking. Score.



Estate Sale. 25¢ each.

(05) Maxell MX 110 - Metal Type IV - oh shit!
(10) Maxell XLII 100 - Type II High Bias
(08) TDK SA 90 - Type II High Bias
(02) TDK SA-X 90 - Type II High Bias
(02) Maxell UDII CD74 - [it always seemed odd to me that you'd manufacture a tape that was the same length as a CD since that makes each side 37 minutes long. Most cds are about 45-50 minutes long, so it actually makes the most sense to buy 110 minute tapes and put an album on each side.]
- posted by Mason @ 9:56 PM (0) comments

Somehow I've never seen this...




"One Got Fat" (1963) - Bicycle Safety Film [Dir. Dale Jennings]

I'm not sure how I've never seen this before. A customer told me about it today, and it sounded like the best thing ever on earth in the history of the world forever and ever amen. You know what? It is.
- posted by Mason @ 9:28 PM (0) comments

Some old pictures of me.



Will uploaded some pictures of me he took at the old record store. These are probably from... five years ago? Thanks Will.


- posted by Mason @ 7:08 PM (0) comments

hahahahahahahha



I almost bought this at an estate sale this week. North Dallas, super wealthy neighborhood, ugly giant oil paintings on the walls... the works. I was searching through the pile of VHS in the garage, and mixed in with the Goodtimes Video copies of copyright-free Superman cartoons I found this videotape. Power Tool. I googled it... it's a Jeff Stryker movie. Of course it is.

SYNOPSIS
Winner: 1987 Adult Video News (AVN) Awards:
Best Video of the Year and Best Director
REVIEW
Quite simply, this is one of the biggest selling and most well-known gay videos in existence, and is a must-have for every collection - whether you’re a fan of Mr. Uberhung or not. The DVD's added stuff here is terrific: Jeff's audition sequence for Catalina, a killer solo, hilarious bloopers, the original trailer for the film, some "straight" scenes, and loads more. Speaking of loads: The facials administered here are drown-worthy. Slurp it up, baby. See why Stryker became synonymous with size and filthy-mouthed shenanigans in this multi-award winning pre-condom extravaganza.
-Keeneye Reeves

I think I'm most amused by the fact that it's labeled "gay". Because you were going to forget which secret porno titled "Power Tool" you had stashed in the garage was gay and which one wasn't? Awesome.
- posted by Mason @ 11:35 AM (1) comments

Ludvig Von Drake destroys all





Disney's Symposium on Popular Song (1962)

As a diehard Professor Von Drake fan, I was pleased to see this up on youtube after I downloaded it from thepiratebay. Sadly the version I got is totally out of sync (fuck you very much to the original uploader) but the version you're going to watch is perfect. The 2D paper-cut stop motion animation in this short brings me to my knees. This short is so good that the only thing I'd say if I only watched the musical numbers is, "That was awesome, the only way it could be better is it if were hosted by Ludvig Von Drake."

I think a lot of other members of my generation's self proclaimed "cultural elite" poopoo Disney as the nothing more than the schlock purveyors we grew up with, but there's a lot more to the history of Disney animation than the end result of a woman wearing a Tinkerbell sweatshirt in loading her plate with mashed potatoes at Golden Corral. This sort is a fantastic example of the creative star power employed by Disney while Walt was still in charge. (For a complete list of Disney's filmic crimes, see Micheal Eisner.)

Also, the boogie-woogie "Fortune Cookie" song is shockingly racist, even for '62.
- posted by Mason @ 7:07 PM (2) comments

The Church of Billy Jack



Billy Jack cannot be stopped.


- posted by Mason @ 7:39 PM (2) comments

The Wrestler



Wow. I just... wow. Best movie I saw this year that wasn't The Dark Knight. See this movie. Right now. The sequence with Rourke working at a deli counter was (obviously) the funniest thing I've ever seen. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to cry. My friend Bradley said, "It was like they were making a movie about us." Yes, it was. That scene is what our lives at work are, and you best believe it.
- posted by Mason @ 7:39 PM (3) comments

Body of Lies: DiCaprio Pt. 2



Yeah. I liked it. I wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it wasn't a waste of time. I probably would have liked it more if Tony Scott had directed it and had Russell Crowe not been it it. Again, DiCaprio was awesome, but the film as a whole is a pretty one note song. This film was arguably not as good as Spy Game (they're basically the same)... which I've just realized is a Tony Scott film. Ha.

Also, I just looked at the lists, and I only like about 3 Ridley Scott movies as opposed to about 10 of Tony's. Fuck Ridley Scott. Tony Scott forever.
- posted by Mason @ 7:39 PM (0) comments

Revolutionary Road: DiCaprio Pt. 1



If you'd told me ten years ago that I'd think DiCaprio was one of our generation's best actors, I'd have told you to shut the fuck up. I loved Revolutionary Road. Winslett and Leo are amazing together in this film. The tension and turmoil and bitter recrimination between them feels so real that it made my stomach hurt. Sam Mendes has come a very, very long way since the heavy handed pretentiousness of American Beauty. I hope this movie wins a bunch of oscars.
- posted by Mason @ 7:39 PM (0) comments

Tapes and Tapes and Tapes and Tapes



Today was transfer day, and by that I mean I finally got around to running a bunch of 10-15 year old cassettes to the PC. (I ran them at 48/24... i know it's silly to use such a high encoding bit rate since they're old tapes, but it's just a thing I like doing.) It was mostly some old 4track mixdowns from junior high (most of which is just bizarre), a tape of my metal band Malidiktor from the 7th grade - early 7th grade at that, and a MMDS show I taped from 2003. They came out pretty well for using the IdeaPad's sound card (which does leave quite a bit to be desired for pro-audio purposes) and Audacity (which I love and swear by).

The live show was in pretty bad shape, but it's cleaned up fairly well. I recorded it as an afterthought on a crappy 70's Panasonic school tape player (the same one I now use to listen to tapes on my bike) sitting in front of the tiny PA at Shooties' Lounge (no longer in existence) on Reno and Sooner in Midwest City, OK. It's actually a pretty good show for me having called Daniel and said, "Bring your drums, we're playing a show tonight." I know there are a couple of songs that he'd maybe only heard once and we just decided to wing it. I think that's a strong testament to what a great drummer my brother is when he wants to be. After soaping out all the motor noise and hiss, it's thin, and the vocals aren't quite as loud as I wish they were, but it sounds sort of OK. I'll post it after I cut it up and convert it to MP3.

On the whole there weren't really any "uncovered gems", but I didn't expect there to be. I do wish I had more live shows taped, but oh well. If you ever played a show with us that you recorded, let me know.


- posted by Mason @ 9:16 PM (1) comments

Moving. And nothing moves me.



The Young at Heart Chorus is a senior choir from Massachusetts that performs pop, rock and soul songs. We just finished watching the feature length documentary on them, and it blew my shit away. Even though I fucking hate Coldplay, their music is much more palatable when sung by an 80 year old man. Youtube is filled with videos of their performances, including this one of them performing The Talking Heads' "Heaven" and being joined by David Byrne on stage. Sadly, chorus member Steven Martin's voice sounds better than Byrne's does.

The film features them doing a great cover of a Sonic Youth song (that I like better than the original) and also the best cover of Dancing in the Dark of all time. See the movie, go see them live if they come to your city. I hope them come here when they go back on tour.
- posted by Mason @ 9:02 PM (0) comments

Funniest 30 Seconds of 2008



Alexander Butera is a comic genius.
- posted by Mason @ 9:15 PM (0) comments