I found something new I like.



If you know me (and you do) you know I download tons of UK television. This week on Friday Night with Johnathan Ross (my second favorite chat show after Graham Norton) the musical guest was a dude named Jamie T. He's pretty awesome.

Basically it's new wave/indie rock/cockney rap, sort of like a happy indie pop version of The Streets but with an even heavier South London accent and a lot more bratty and not at all serious. I downloaded the record and I really, really like it.

Check this video for the single "Sheila".

- posted by Mason @ 11:40 PM

Cars are Gay.


The Megster and I went grocery shopping today at my store. That's an extra four miles if you're counting [and we are], making today an 8 mile [i'm ready, mom's spaghetti] day. Using plastic zip ties, I strapped a crate to my new rear rack and between our two vehicles [that's right, my bike is a vehicle, best rezpekt it as such] we brought home all of the groceries we buy a week. We're the shit. Also, I like that I look like a total stud in that picture.

[unrelated to the above story]

Me: "What are you talking about, there are underwear right here"
Megan: "Those are the small ones, those are Daniel's."
Me: "So?" [putting on the underwear]
Megan: "Why are you wearing them inside out?"
Me: "Because I don't give a fuck."

- posted by Mason @ 11:22 PM

Donkey Dick, Meet Your Maker



We drove (blech!) to REI [your friendly national outdoor co-op] today to make some very necessary purchases for the bike-rock-revolution. If we're actually going to stop driving, I must have a rear rack with a crate. We also picked up a headlight, a set of tire levers, two patch kits and a portable pump.

On the way home (trip saving: learn it, know it, live it [that's a Fast Times joke, duh.]) we stopped at our local Super Mercado Gigante! Fiesta is a pretty sweet mexi-grocery store. We bought deodorant and a tortilla warmer to steam the corn tortillas we now consume on a daily basis. In my heart of hearts, I'm sure they're made with GMO corn owned by Monsanto, but there's not a lot you can do about it. The organic tortillas at work are five times as expensive.

Also, give another listen to The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner, I know you think that Army is the only song you like on it, but you're wrong. I'm not saying it's Ben's best, but it's pretty fucking good.
- posted by Mason @ 2:08 PM

Chickety-check yourself before you wreck your bike.

I really dig on this british comedy series I just downloaded called Peep Show. It's filthy and absurd but still realistic enough for me to think it's hilarious. It's mostly shot from the point of view of one the characters. I highly recommend it.

I had my first real day of work and I LOVE my new job. I rode four miles on my bike (to and from work) and it makes me feel great to not pump more carbon monoxide into the atmosphere. My legs still hurt when I get done, but I know as I ride more it will get easier.

In Linux news, check the great article over at The Open Source Advocate.

In fashion news, please stop wearing skinny jeans. They look like shit.
- posted by Mason @ 6:39 PM

I'm a geek.


For a while I was writing about sci-fi novels really heavily. I've gotten a bit out of the habit lately, so I'm getting back on the horse.

This month I FINALLY finished both the Demu Trilogy and PJ Farmer's World of Tiers trilogy, so I'm picking up Dune where I left off. Last year when I was running sound I read all of the first novel and really enjoyed it. I would have kept going, but we got really busy moving. I like it a lot, not as much as the Amber novels, but still quite a bit.

Herbert's message of green mission and conservation is relatively unique in 60's sci-fi, and so much of what he believed holds true now. He's the John Muir of guys who write about outer space.
- posted by Mason @ 4:29 PM

Tuning up a full step



I got a free set of Infinity Bronze strings this weekend, and they sound fucking fantastic. I also tried out this cloth called Gorgomyte, a fingerboard and fret cleaner. It was invented by Rush's guitar tech. It's amazing. My fretboard was apparently the filthiest fucking thing on the face of the earth. Tons of black shit came off it. You're fretboard is probably just as disgusting, you sweaty pig.

The point of my story was that I tried a new kind of string that I like, but the gauge was wrong. They were 11's, and I usually use 12's. I've had my Taylor (510) for about ten years and recently had it set up with a crazy machine that very finely adjusted it for 12's. So now it rattles. The solution? Tune it up a full step.

I have to say, I really like it. I've been in a bit of a funk with songwriting lately, and this has really opened up my palette. I'm sort of tired of tuning down... (don't get mad, Dan-Dan Noodle) I've been doing it a long time, and I'm bored with it. That's not to say that I'm not still dropping my bottom string a step (so now it's E-B-E-A-C#-F#), but the voicings are so different that it's changed the way I think about writing melody. It also forces me to sing a little higher and strain my voice more, which is just SO indie rock.

My prescription for the doldrums?

*Clean your fucking fretboard.
*Put a new set of strings you've never tried before on it.
*Make sure they're a gauge or two too light.
*Tune it up until the tension feels right, between 1/2 to 1 1/2 steps up.
*Stop eating flour tortillas. Switch to corn, but steam them in the microwave for 30 seconds by putting them on a plate with another plate on top. They're my new fave and we're never buying flour again.
- posted by Mason @ 7:25 PM

BIKE IT!
I have a new eco-goal. I filled up with gas today, it cost me $30. My intention is for it to last 30 days. That means no unnecessary trips, getting everything we need in one trip, and riding the bike for any trip under 3 miles. As a consequence, I will be riding my bike to work every day. I've worked out a route and I feel very comfortable riding the two miles, so I have no excuse at all to drive there. It would cost me 40 cents a day to drive there and back, which is $12 a month, or $144 dollars a year. That seems like an insignificant number to me, but the real savings is illustrated here in a pamphlet about commuting in Southern California.

They estimate the combined personal and societal cost of driving at $1.19 a mile. I think that might be just a bit high for me, given that things are cheaper here than in San Mateo county. But even figuring the total cost of driving in Dallas at $1 a mile, that makes it TEN TIMES as much as just the cost of fuel. That makes me biking to work save all of us $1440 a year. Now, multiply that by a million people (that seems like a lot, but remember that we're a nation of 300 million, so a million people only 1/3 of a percent of the population) and you've got a lot of scrilla. If one million people in this country biked three mile a day instead of driving (an easy task for almost anyone) as a nation, we'd could save over a billion dollars a year. 30% of that is direct societal cost, so it could save $365,000,000 a year. If Republican's really wanted lower taxes, they wouldn't drive so much.

Bike it, mother fuckers. Bike it.


In other news:



Trailer Park Boys is my favourite show. I know I've talked about it before, but I just watched yesterday's episode and I was laughing so hard I have to pause it so I wouldn't miss anything. This weeks episode featured Ricky addressing two cops as "Cock Knuckles and Dick Lock".

Also, I start the new job tomorrow and we made about nine hundred bucks at the guitar show over the weekend. We sold a lot of strings, but most of the money came from the fact that my dad is the best salesman on earth. I'm talking about real ice makers to Eskimos shit here. He's the best, and there's no denying it.
- posted by Mason @ 10:49 PM

Corey Haim Likes Drugs



I found this excellent VHS rip of the Corey Haim Fan Club only video "Corey Haim: Me, Myself and I". We watched it last night and was so aghast at what a truly deluded, narcissistic, egomaniacal drug addict he is, I uploaded it to google video for you to watch. I'll warn you, it's rather long, and the first half is pretty boring, but about three quarters of the way through there's some totally classic footage of him "jamming" to some of what he calls the "japanese pop funk" that he's really into.

He's very obviously totally bombed on vicadon or percoset answering questions about sports, music, his career and life in general. The most amazing part is how apparent it becomes as the video wears on that he truly believes he is the greatest actor, nay, the greatest human being alive. It really is just mind numbing to watch.

After a quick goog search, it looks like x-e covered this seven years ago (back when I actually looked at x-e and it was funny), and there's a short clip uploaded to the youtubes the kids are talking about, but I think to really get the full effect, you must watch the whole thing. So I now present to you, the video cassette tape masterpiece, "Corey Haim: Me, Myself and I".


- posted by Mason @ 11:03 PM

Guitar Show Time Again!


click the pic to see the giant one, grammaw.

Closer to home this time, we only had to drive five miles to Dallas Market Hall. I think this is by far the best looking booth we've ever had (thanks Meg!) Our friends at GHS once again hooked us up big time. If you're in "Big-D" (as my paternal grandmother would say), drop by the show and get your deeply discounted guitar strings. Also, if you have a spare quarter of a million dollars you can pick up a pretty nice 1959 Les Paul with the OHSC (that's original hard shell case for the uninitiated).

Did I stutter? I said two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. $250,000. If you've only got $70,000, you can buy an eighty year old refinished Martin. Since it's Texas, don't forget to pick up your one of a kind Stevie Ray Vaughn hankie for only $11,000. He blew his nose into the night he died and if you look very closely through it's protective lucite case, you can actually see the dried mucous crystals. Ok, I made that one up, but guitar collectors are insane and if I had SRV's snot rag, and a Certificate of Authenticity, I could probably get that much out of it.


click on dis one two ta sees the picher more bigger.
- posted by Mason @ 11:20 PM

Five Years, One Hundred Pounds



I don't know if you remember this or not, but in 2002 I weighed 285 pounds. I was a fat fuck. I wore a size 46 pant and a size 18 shirt. I ate everything, and always went back for seconds and often thirds. I could barely breathe and most any physical activity was out of the question.

I weighed myself this morning and I now weigh 185 pounds. I must say, I feel pretty good about that. I am now the thinnest I've ever been and it's a big milestone for me. I look better, I feel better physically and mentally, and I know I'm not going to drop dead at any minute. Meg and I rode our bikes a total of four miles yesterday and five years ago I couldn't have even gotten on a bike.

When people find out that I used to be fat (because I tell them when I see them scarfing down a 2000 calorie burger from Jack in the Box) they say, "How did you lose the weight?" I usually say something like, "I stopped eating fatty chemicals out of a paper bag." They look confused and then realized that I'm talking about what they're eating. I like feeling superior in this regard (as I'm sure you well know).

The big goal now is to lose ten more pounds to be at my "goal" and then become more fit, leaner and stronger. Wish me luck, you fucking bitches.
- posted by Mason @ 11:45 PM

I gots a new job! So did my Uncle! I ate a raw food bar!

Hooray, hooray! I have quit my job at the symphony to work at the health food store! I'm incredibly fucking excited. Work has really been getting me down lately and this change makes me feel better already.

I am, however, in a fit of terrible jealousy because my Uncle Dave has taken a teaching job in Chico, CA. Big props to you sir!



I ate a really tasty raw food candy bar. Meg had told me that a lot of people in the veg community had raved about LARABARs, but we'd never tried them. Grocery shopping today yielded a real tasty one, the lemon.

Check it, NO SUGAR ADDED, UNPROCESSED, RAW, NON-GMO, GLUTEN FREE, DAIRY FREE, SOY FREE, VEGAN, KOSHER. I can eat it, my dad can eat it, pretty much everyone can eat it unless they're allgeric to nuts. Ingredients are: DATES, CASHEWS, ALMONDS, LEMON JUICE CONCENTRATE, NATURAL LEMON FLAVOR.

It wasn't cheap, ($1.39) but it was one of the best things I've ever eaten. I simply must insist that you eat one.
- posted by Mason @ 7:17 PM

I like to watch terrible movies...

We're on a 90's action/disaster movie kick at the moment and it's going swimmingly.
Garbage we've watched this week:


Daylight - (1996)


Chain Reaction - (1996)


Deep Impact - (1998)


Armageddon - (1998)


Mercury Rising - (1998)


The Last Boy Scout - (1991)

I'm pretty pumped to start my mountain movie marathon as well, this includes:
The Edge
Dante's Peak
K2
Cliffhanger
Vertical Limit
- posted by Mason @ 6:12 PM

Am I turing into an anti-government nut?


1993, Waco, TX

April 19th is fast approaching, so we recently re-watched Waco: The Rules of Engagement (via demonoid, as per usual). If you've never seen this documentary, it's a must for all Americans.

If you already distrust your government, it will steel you harder against the do-as-they-please, overseen-by-no-one, answerable-only-to-post-action-federal-review-boards (comprised of their good old boy golf buddies) agencies that operate against us on a daily basis. The agencies that watch our every move and monitor our every communication "to protect us". If you're never given the situation much thought, you might be surprised at how outraged you are by the whole situation. Even if EVERYTHING the government says happened at Waco is true (ha!), the ATF still illegally executed a warrant operation on private citizens in order to make a big PR splash. When the ATF dug themselves deeper than they could get out, the FBI swooped in and tortured innocent women and children with CS gas and psychological warfare.

While I disagree with the necessity of firearms for any human, and believe they should be outlawed (yes yes, then only outlaws will have them, thanks, cody) they are currently legal in this country. It is legal to stockpile weapons. It is legal to live on a crazy compound in the middle of nowhere. It is legal to have crazy religious belief, and to live your life based around a completely ludicrous set of rules, ideals and dogmas (I am, of course, referring to christians in general, not the Davidians specifically, but the same holds true). In Texas, it's even legal to marry a 14 year old girl if her parents consent to it. The Waco raid was predicated solely on the fact that a number of the Davidians COMPLETELY LEGAL AK-47s had been modified to be fully automatic. That's it.

The federal government murdered thirty-four women and twenty-three children after a 51 day siege on their home. While I'm not postive the FBI set the building on fire on purpose, they none the less set up a situation virtually guaranteeing the deaths of the Branch Davidians.

Is that a very simplistic view of the situation? Yes, but so is the government's stance that they were a dangerous cult who raped young girls, beat babies, killed ATF agents in cold blood and committed mass suicide. Neither of these things are the exact truth, but my version is much, much closer. Please watch the movie and check out the information Carol Moore (not a crazy religious nut) has on her excellent and in depth site about the tragedy.

That's my serious post for the day. Back to work!
- posted by Mason @ 1:04 PM

The simplest thing you can do to help


picture of a kitty in a plastic sack via skirv without permission

Everyday of my life I say "I don't need a sack."

It's not that big a deal. I'm at Walgreens, I just bought some Ricola (which, in case you've never purchased anything at a store, already come in a bag) and I don't need another thin sheet of blown poly film to wrap my bag of wax paper wrapped cough drops.

I get a lot of shit for not wanting a bag when I buy things. Store clerks seem especially perturbed and annoyed by my refusal to accept a sack and I'm not sure why. It's not like I'm the guy who refuses to let you scan my items because it "irradiates" my throat lozenges. I'm not some kind of fucking nut, I just don't want an extra bag that will go into a landfill and take umpteen zillion years to decompose. Even at National Health Food Store Chain, where you get a nickel back by not using a bag, cashiers give me a shitty look when I don't want a bag. So what gives? Why is it so offensive to people for me to refuse their bag? I don't really get it.

I challenge you to stop accepting a bag. I'm not even saying that you have go as hardcore as we are and carry cloth bags everywhere (though you probably should). Just stop taking a bag when you don't need one. Put the thing you just bought in your pocket, or take it out to the car in nature's own carrying device: your fucking hand.

You: "Is that the hand you fuck with or the hand that gets fucked?"
Me: "One and the same friend."
- posted by Mason @ 2:24 PM

"I straight up disrespect the toilet."

Meg and I are big fans of the Trading Spouses/Wife Swap kabbalah. Last night FOX re-ran the GOD WARRIOR follow episode. You can read the summary here. It wasn't as funny as the first one because she's really toned it down a lot. Also, she had gastric bypass, and while she's still gigantic, she'd lost some weight and her make up was a little less scary.

Don't remember Marguerite Perrin? Oh, I think you do...


Anyhoo, the episode contained this super-racist black dude saying my favorite line of the year:

"When I go to the bathroom, I straight up disrespect the toilet."


I laughed out loud. I really think it's an all time classic. The thing I love about Trading Spouses is that it makes everyone look like a nut. No matter how reasonable your lifestyle or value set is, they'll edit it to make you look totally insane. This is further exacerbated by the producers choosing the most extreme, stubborn and unstable people possible to participate. It's my fave, straight up, mother-fucker.

Also, Riker likes to lay on my head while I sleep:

- posted by Mason @ 1:26 PM

Animal Products Bad, Homemade Granola Good


an actual photo of our granola, not some shitty stock photo

So, as previously noted, we've gone vegan without saying we're vegan [like I said, I like honey and have no ethical qualms about it]. We've also dumped all pre-packaged foods, and are moving toward making even more of our food ourselves. In order to achieve this goal, we've tried our hand at making our own granola. It was based on a modified version of this recipe from a blog that Megan reads regularly.

We used:
Rolled Oats
Flax
Pumpkin Seeds
Toasted Buckwheats Groats
Rolled Rye
Rolled Wheat
Almonds

It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty good. (Good enough for me to eat a shitload of it). We need to fuck around with the amount of honey we use, because it wasn't sweet enough. Last night Meg whipped up some vegan queso with a fake cheese sauce (nutritional yeast is oh-so-delicious) and some super spicy "salsa" we got from Dallas Tortilla and Tamale Factory. Oh, it made me go crazy in the pants dad.

Seriously, I don't know why I didn't change my diet a long time ago. It's much cheaper to not eat meaty, dairy or eggs, and it affords me the moral superiority you know I crave.
- posted by Mason @ 7:40 PM

Back in Action... Movies, News, Whatever


Here's a quick overview:

-Back from Oklahoma

-Had an interview at Large American Health Food Store. I think I'll probably take it, even though it's a little less money. I'm pretty dissatisfied with my job right now, and at least this would be something really different.

-Lost four pounds in less than two weeks after finally giving up dairy (again) and eggs. I won't say I'm vegan because I eat honey (I wouldn't have a problem killing a bee).

-Caught up on all our tv programs and watched the new Sopranos and Entourage.

-Went for a two mile bike ride and my ass really hurts. I guess I need some of those padded butt pants like my Uncle Dave has.

-Watched Fast Food Nation. (The real point of my post)



Did you see this? Wow, what a waste of time. My time would have been better utilsed watching the Bad News Bears. Linklater, you're a hack. I will no longer give the man the benefit of the doubt. I love Dazed and Confused, we all do. I even really like SubUrbia (mostly just because it's well cast), but I cannot be party to his aimless, rambling nonsense.

FFN is divided into three separate story lines:

1) Greg Kinnear (who I like a lot) is the VP of Marketing for a large hamburger restaurant chain. He goes to a town in Colorado to investigate the meat packing operation.

2) The little girl from Growing Pains is a high school girl who works at the chain. She has to make a hard moral choice whether or not she wants to work there *tear*.

3) Fez from That 70's Show is an illegal who works at the meat packing plant. His story line is basically: being an immigrant is hard.

You would expect that in almost two hours (116 minutes) Linklater could somehow tie these three story lines together. Nope. Kinnear and the high school girl have a 30 second scene together and that's it. Kinnear isn't even in the last thirty minutes of the movie. Oh, also, the whole thing is very heavy handed and all of the facts about how shitty the fast food industry is come from the mouths of over-actors in public service announcement exposition.

BUT AVRIL LAVIGNE is in it. WHOO HOO! While we were in OK, we watched the horrid Click! and the even more horrid Little Big Man. Both of those movies were as entertaining as Fast Food Nation... possibly more so. [HEY, THAT BABY HAS A GIANT PENIS!]

I choose not to recommend it.
- posted by Mason @ 9:09 AM

Shutting down while we're away.
My grandfather died, so we're going back to Oklahoma for a while, probably about a week. Radio silence until then. Mason out.
- posted by Mason @ 10:00 PM